ED,
Isn't this the shadow side of trying to grasp an (intellectual!) understanding
of Zen tho?- the feeling that the answer lies just around the corner: 'if I
just
read one more book, ask one more question, sit a bit longer, try to be more
mindful tomorrow etc. All the masters say desiring, or striving, for the truth
takes us ever further away from it. Not desiring the truth, however, will
consign us to be prisoners of our thoughts, desires and emotions. I can
understand how 'desireless desire' can appear to sound like fuzzy thinking to
most, or 'who are you just before the thought 'I am' arises, but after even
just
a small realisation such terms resonate deeply (yet they're so simple and
obvious, too!). I remember reading a book about an English woman who became a
Tibetan buddhist nun and went there to meditate in a cave for 3 years. When she
was first exposed to Buddhism she wrote that she cried with frustration at not
being able to understand the Zen literature she was exposed to. After her 3
years of solitary meditation, and many deep insights, she laughed with joy at
how fun and obvious those previously obscure Zen koans and stories now were to
her! I know you don't trust my own realisation(s) (and fair enough, too!), but
quotes such as Steve supplied are so forehead slappingly() obvious!
Mike
