Dear Sri.Ram Mohan,
I have read your article ‘on depression’ to explain 5 years of depression.
Your writing is close to medical terms and hence not clear to me. I
always felt psychological treatment is not required for a sane person.
Even any bodily disfunction can be adjusted by body itself. That is
the way our body and brains are created.
If I look at my life situation, I am seeing myself there are lots of
reasons I should have depression, those reasons are
1. My mother died at the age of 1.5 years, there after my father
re married.
2. I was brought up with my grandmother (mother’s mother) family.
There also my grandfather died at early age, only my elder uncle was
looking after the family.
3. There at my grandmother’s house my younger uncle look at me as
servant and he did not like me, I used to have lot of problems from
him. Similarly My Aunts, one of my aunts also used to horrify me.
Living at the tender age I have gone through lot of troubles. My only
hope is my grandmother and elder uncle.
4. 1.5 to 6 years with my grandmother and from 6 to 10 years I was
with my father, and again from 10 to 14 I was with my grandmother. And
again from 15 to 20 with my father. From 20 onwards sailing job all
alone.
5. During my stay at my grandmother house, I was treated like servant
by younger uncle and aunts, so much to cry about. My aunt even tears
away my homework, record book etc, and thereby getting beating from
teachers.
6. If I look at my stay at my father’s house, it was full of poverty;
we don’t have rice to eat. We used to eat noon meal in school. We used
to buy ration rice and some poor quality rice for Rs.2.00 or less,
which is good for animal only (that is what the shop keeper used to
say). Torn clothes were worn to schools, and the other students mock
at me and call ‘post office’ .
7. My father always compares myself with elder brother and mock at my
poor knowledge in English also generally I am considered stupid in
front of him. He was sent to Convent school and I was sent to
corporation school. He does all to my elder brother even polishing his
shoe even when he was going to college, where as nothing was done to
me.
8. During Interview to shipping company and my sea life is very worst
to imagine. You can ask anyone how life of a cadet on board on those
days. Sea sickness is another worst thing to happen. I used to vomit
blood due to seasickness. Ragging on board will go as worst as
possible like making you nude and shaving of one eyebrow etc.,
9. And now with these two autism children.
So I look at my life situation and wonder there are innumerable
situation to which I could have depression. But depression happened in
me was momentary always. The brain know how to overcome.
One of my positive things I see in myself is reading books. A thirst
in reading books, especially religion and philosophy books
irrespective of what religion what philosophy and who is the author, I
read which appeal to me or I am automatically attracted to it.
I always used to think that no one can do anything to me unless I do
to myself. Why I am saying is that when people are afraid to read OSHO
books, I used to read in 100s of numbers, without any fear of being
changed to anything. I continuously had courage in my life whether it
is of reading a book or it is of going to any place or be in any
situation.
This courage seems my nature. I have fallen in the Ship Hold and
fractured my hands, many said do not sail, but I sailed after curing. My
uncle died onboard (he was 3rd Engineer), and people said don’t sail,
it might happen to you as well, but I sailed. I have meet with
accident in a motor bike and my knee had contusion, within one month I
again used motor bike. I had several accidents with Motor bike, but I
continued biking. I had several accidents with car, still I drive.
No matter what happens to me I go on with full courage and fight the
life. But at the same time to bring down an ego fight I am ready to
fall on anyone’s feet, including my wife. Who am I? Why depression had
no shadow in me. Why same spirit is not in others?
Best wishes
Suresh
--
Thanks and best regards
J.Suresh
New No.3, Old No.7,
Chamiers road - 1st Lane,
Alwarpet,
Chennai - 600018
Ph: 044 42030947
Mobile: 91 9884071738
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