while we're on the subject of psychology, my wife has bipolar disorder type 1. this has been the toughest practice to handle. the depression (and the silent treatment that comes with it) and the mania, especially when it becomes pyschosis, is sometimes too much to bear. i was searching online for other people's experience with practicing zen and living with bipolar disorder. i came across this site: http://www.zenguide.com/forum/view.cfm?topicid=4707 and found a gleam in this post:
*I know this is an old old post so sorry about that. But, I really believe > its important to battle misinformation wherever it is.* > ** > *"Bipolar Disorder" cannot be thought away or meditated away. I tried for > 6 years of daily meditation (averaging of 2 hours) under a well known Zen > teacher.* > ** > *Believing that you can magical heal a physical illness "with the power > of your mind" is just an ego trip. If you something like bad vision (such > as being near sighted), can you heal yourself by meditation and "thinking > the right thoughts?" * > ** > *We only think that pills are a band aid because we don't realize that > mental illnesses like bipolar can in fact be a physical illness. Just > because it occurs in an organ that we perceive to be the seat of our ego > doesn't mean that it's not a physical illness.* > ** > *Being depressed manic in bipolar is not a normal emotion that everyday > people experience. To say that is like telling someone who has felt the > agony of losing their limb that "Oh yeah, everyone gets little cuts and > scrapes now and then. I know what that feels like." It's sort of an ego > filled way of putting a smiley face on something you (as a non-bipolar > person) do not understand. Label or no label, it doesn't really matter, > because it doesn't change the experience. Labels don't need to become you > or define you, but they can help doctors in figuring out how to treat you. > (I.e. don't confuse the labels "diabetes" with "asthma". The treatments are > very different!)* > ** > *Zen Buddhism is a pretty normal thing. It isn't magical, it doesn't need > to be some kind of pie inthe sky lovey dovey "all is light and wondrous" > thing. It's just accepting life and learning how to live it.* > ** > *Part of that is- if you have bipolar disorder, you got to take your > medication. Its not a bandaid and its dangerous and irresponsible for > people to say that. There is already a high rate of people with bipolar who > stop taking their medications, which can often end in disaster and death > from suicide. I've heard of rates of from anywhere from 1/7 to 20% of > people with bipolar disorder end their lives in suicide. This disorder is > no joke. What does it feel like? The best equivalent is like being > intoxicated or on drugs- except you have no choice to stop taking the drugs > or the alcohol, because that's how your brain is normally. And, you don't > even KNOW that your brain is not functioning right until you come out of > the fog of a bipolar episode.* > ** > *I am very lucky that my Zen teacher understands this and that he > understood this even before I did. Medication keeps people with bipolar > sane. If there was no stigma about this, and if it were treated like any > other medical illness, this kind of misinformation wouldn't exist.* > ** > *All in all, I also wish that there was more information about bipolar > disorder and Zen Buddhism. All I know is, that Zen Buddhism has personally > helped me tremendously.* have any of you intimately had someone who was bipolar in your own lives? how was your own practice, then? the hardest part for me is the resentment at the behaviors that arise and the chaos that comes around (ie.people are brought over to the house all the time [we have small children], all our money spent while rent still needs to be paid, etc.) i would love to hear your experiences or insights. Thank you, hongyeongsoo
