Hello,
My name is Cecilia but my friends call me CC. I have always been of questionable health and last year it all clearly came to fruition. Yesteday I had a Spinal Tap to find out if the only illness that we have not truly named is indeed Multiple Sclerosis. In addition to that possibilty I also have Ulcerative colities, degenerative disc disease and degenerative arthritis in my hands and fingers. I am 38 years old. I have always lived a good live as much as I could control, I have never drank or done drugs. I never ran around doing dangerously outrageous sports or anything like that. I always had the belief that if you are follow a truthful and honest existance, good would come to you, I have believed that sunce very young. My childhood was in one word miserable due to my fathers alcoholism and depression, the physical abuse from my siblings, one of them later to be found to have been schitzophrenic, and having a very cold and distant relationship with my mother. I left at 14 years old and stayed with even crazier relatives in the west coast of the USA, mainly NY and NJ. When I left I had 3 goals, one to live in New York Ciy out of my own money, to get a boa constrictor (bad idea when it got hungry and bigger) and to get a tatto (a small one). Around my 18th birthday I went back to visit the family and my father said to me, besides that only prostitutes and bikers get tattos... You call that a tattoo, next time make it a bigger one.. and I of course complied with an oriental dragon that covers half of my back. I have always been that way ever since, I speak the truth, I am honest with myself ans others. I always keep my promises and I learned to forgive. I have been practicing meditation for several years now, started first as guided imagery a suggestion from one of my many, many doctors. Meditation and relaxation techiques as well as some yoga stretches prepared me yesterday for my spinal tap. The doctor was truly fascinated as my calmness and how easy the procedure was, since my body was very relaxed it was really easy for her to find the right spot right away, we had the chance of speaking while my spinal fluid dripped out (about 15 minutes). At the end she thanked me for being such a wonderful patient, I find that amusing. I was an avid reader upto 3 years ago, but since the further deterioration of my hands prevents me from reading big hard back books, my favorites being crime novels, true crime, big trials, etc...just recently I found Ephraim Tutt, (older but goodie) when I came to find out my great grandfather was a lawyer, importand DA who wrote the series of Ephraim Tutt. means nothing to you but ment a lot to me because all of my live I have know things that I would have not learned yet because of my age, today my husband will talk to me about all kinds of questions, some that I am amused about because only a trained expert in that field (any field)would be able to answer, and I always ask what gives you the idea that I would know THAT? and he always says because you always have the answers to everything I have ever asked, I don't know why but you do... This leads me to believe that what is happend to my body is perhaps an old debt I had to pay from a past life and the knowledge I have has are bits and pieces of probably several lives I have probably lived. And that is why I am here, in the last year Buddhism has been so ever present in my life, we found a marvelous Buddha made out of wood at an antique place, we have also found other buddhist items, including some my husband brought from his visit to India before we got married. Deep meditation allows me to have some relief from my pain and in my spiritualitu I am becoming more and more buddhist, I have several books in buddhism, of course books from the dalai lama, etc but I need direction. Of all the types of buddhism I think that Zen buddhism may be more my path. And with that I ask for no pitty nor judgement but a helpful hand, a few reading recomendations, someone to share with.... with love and peace.. --- CC ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------~--> Make a clean sweep of pop-up ads. Yahoo! Companion Toolbar. Now with Pop-Up Blocker. Get it for free! http://us.click.yahoo.com/L5YrjA/eSIIAA/yQLSAA/S27xlB/TM --------------------------------------------------------------------~-> Noble Eightfold Path: Right View, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration, Right Livelihood Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZenForum/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
