I have heard this teaching as "I vow not to talk about others". Sometimes when we are gossiping we don't call it that because we are not saying "bad" things, but this can be thinly veiled. I learned this from a great practitoner who was in a group with me, and every time somebody mentioned somebody's name who wasn't there, he refused to participate in the conversation. Just calmly shut up. He was right, even though somebody was trying to be "helpful", their comments were often to point out shortcomings or question what that person was doing, or somehow promote their own agenda.
If you live in the southern US, you are familiar with the phrase "Bless his heart", which is a backhanded way of saying, "He's such a pathetic screwup", while telling themselves they are simply being kind and sympathetic. Bottom line, if you find a person's name coming out of your mouth, ask yourself if it is truly necessary. I have also heard a Zen teaching that says we only need to actually say one out of ten things that we think we should say. Thanks, and enjoy the day, Diana --- In [email protected], "amazing63" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > From: Harvey Hilbert > > > With palms together, > > Good Morning Sangha, > > Thank you for opening this small email and receiving its message. > > Today I will address the 6th Grave Precept: I vow not to talk about the > faults of others. > > This is a vow against gossip. It recognizes the power of words to do harm in > casual conversation. This is a challenging precept as we all seem to value the communion we share with others through discussion regarding our friends and family. So, on the one hand, we have the value of communion with others, and on the other hand, the destructive power of words when we talk about the faults of those we know and love. > > We might rationalize that it is important to share information about > another's faults. And sometimes this is true. But we must be very careful here, and behave with deliberation and careful consideration. We might say we are acting to protect our friends, say in the case that we discover one of our friends has lied or acted in some other unwholesome way; still to pass this along does damage to all concerned as we are diminishing the possibility of that person's potential, and at the same time, we are demonstrating our own willingness to harm. > > There are times when we should "blow the whistle" but these are rare in point > of fact and are not generally what we trhink of with regard to this precept. This precept is about the damage caused by idle gossip about the faults of others. > > When we speak, we should try to perceive the benefits of our words. Deepening > our relationships with others should not come at the personal cost of others. A loving community is a communty that can trust. It is one that holds each member to be sacred. Careless talk violates and diminishes this sacredness. > > I suggest that we each bring the power of our mindfullness to this precept in > our everyday life. How often do we speak of the faults of others? How can we reduce or eliminate this talk? Increasing our present moment awareness of the words that come out of our mouths is an excellent beginning. > > Be well, > > > > Rev. Harvey Sodaiho Hilbert, Ph.D. > > On the web at: > http://www.daihoji.org > > Opt out of military recruiter's getting your children's personal information: > http://www.militaryfreezone.org/ > > (This email powered by clean, renewable, solar energy.) Current Book Discussion: Appreciate Your Life by Taizan Maezumi Roshi Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ZenForum/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
