--- In [email protected], "Al" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
> This year it seemed like I had one health problem after another 
one, and I
> remember that around March I did not think I would live out this 
year. Sure,
> I guess I can still die in the next three days, but otherwise it 
looks like
> I will make it into 2006.
> 
> Has anyone here ever had one of those years where it really looked 
like
> health or some other situation would definitely be the end of you?
> 
> I would like to say that I learned some spiritual insights, but 
all I really
> learned was how to deal with my Health Insurance company and how 
to get my
> case escalated to the Customer Service Director when they did not 
want to
> pay for my two surgeries. I also learned to deal with constant 
pain. Maybe I
> have not learned to deal with it, as much as to live with it. As 
the saying
> goes, what's the alternative?
> 
> I may not be wiser, but at least I am still alive. Thank you God, 
Buddha,
> Jesus, Crom, Odin, Zeus, or whomever may have helped, if anyone.
> 
> Al
> Older, if not wiser.

I can relate to this, as I have to deal with chronic pain. It was 
one motivation of many for taking up zazen in the first place, to 
learn how to change my relationship to pain and be released from 
suffering. But being released from suffering is not the same as 
being released from the pain. The latter is an unrealistic 
expectation but the former is supposedly attainable. Let's hope that 
the new year will bring some progress in our zazen practice in this 
regard.







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Current Book Discussion: Appreciate Your Life by Taizan Maezumi Roshi 
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