Just a suggestion...
'From adventurous Biggles to bird-eyed Miss Marples'
might scan better.
A long line, too.
The mali's son came up to my den... sounds wrong otherwise, and probably is.
t'was and o'er, sounds contrived, and harks back to Victorian poetry when one
dropped syllables to get the scansion. But that's a personal thing, just dates
one, if Biggles and Miss Marple haven't done it already. They were my childhood
reading too, or at least Biggles was. I think Miss Marple came along when I was
in my late teens.
Evocative, at least for me.
jane
Rinku Dutta <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
Am hiding out here, tell no one
In the hollow trunk of the old banyan
>From the 'venturous Biggles to the bird-eyed Miss Marples
I read them all up here, tell no one
'Twas a summer dusk, the maali's son came up my den
He showed me what goes where, tell no one
7 summers later, they shot the Naxalite
I had broken my heart o'er, tell no one
That long-abandoned house; that bow-bent banyan
I've snaked back here to moult, tell no one
Tanu
May 16, 2005
Delhi
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