[ZESTPoets] Senriyu

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 03:02:22 -0700

Thanks M Suri - I had always wondered whether a non-nature haiku was actually one or not. now I know it is a subsect...
Loved the Parallel Parking.
 
Jane

M Suri <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
A haiku  is a poem with elements of nature (such as spring, flowers, the moon, etc.) and has a total of 17 syllables in three lines, such that the first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7 and the third has 5, whereby  5 + 7 + 5 = 17.
 
As for your poignant poem, dear Indira, I believe you can do the math to determine whether it is a haiku: 5 + 6 + 8 = ?
 
Here are a couple of examples of haikus:
 
Parallel parking
 
Parallel parking
difficult to accomplish;
necessary 'tho.
 
That was written ages ago by my wife, Marissa Blackman Suri, and is actually a senriyu  like yours could be (a "haiku" about something other than nature), should you pare yours conform to the defined structure.
 
Tangerine
 
Thumb in tangerine,
parting succulent morsels,
savor tart and sweet.
 
The tangerine provides this haiku  the element of nature (fruit) and follows the 5, 7, 5 syllabic structure.  As to how good it is depends on the reader/auditor's subjective opinion.
 
How's this suggestion for turning your poem into a senriyu?:
 
Always cut to fit
into your expectations;
ever to fit mine?
 
 
Mani
 


Indira Babbellapati <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:

always cut to fit
into your measurements
will i ever fit into mine?

tell me, is this a haiku? 



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