Dear Jane,
I liked your poem "Last Night it Rained" very much.
I liked the richness of colour in the "Bright titan ..."
line. The contrast towards the end, of "quiet carpet"
and "echo of dogs' barks" was striking. I enjoyed it
thoroughly.
("Summer" somehow
seemed out of place for me. Will that line work without
this season being mentioned?)
Regards,
Prasad
> LAST NIGHT IT RAINED
>
>
>
>
>
> Yesterday the leaves lay
>
> In huge drifts across the lawn,
>
> In one corner, beech leaves glowed
>
> Bright titian red, orange and gold,
>
> As if some profligate fairy had piled
>
> Evanescent riches there. In the hollow,
>
> Brown sycamore hands rattled curled fingers;
>
> The dogs, excited by the sound, rushed wildly
>
> Into the scatter, and the rustle was like rain
>
> On summer trees. Last night it rained.
>
> Today the leaves lie sodden and silent.
>
> The dogs scamper over a quiet carpet,
>
> Puzzled by its silence; their barks echo
>
> Among the trunks of trees stripped bare.
>
>
>
>
>
> Jane Bhandari
>
>
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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