The Parable of the Aitch
Oh yes, said the aitch. Im bothered by things.
I can knit and I have a little wit, but
oh me oh my
Ive forgotten how to read.
Id unpacked my eyes,
Id put them in the fridge.
Oh, find my eyes for me again,
find them for me.
The cornflakes searched high.
The raisins searched low.
They gave up with sighs
it was such a blow.
Oh me oh my
they couldnt find the aitchy eyes oh!
Oh yes, said the aitch. I love to be right.
Im bright and a little trite, but
Oh me oh my
Ive forgotten how to write.
Id cut off my fingers
Id hidden them in the night.
Oh, find them for me again,
Find my fingers for me.
The cornflakes were sly
The raisins were dry
They had to cry out to the sky,
Oh me oh my
Let us find her fingers oh!
Oh yes, said the aitch. Im so highbrow.
Im wow and I bow, but
Oh me oh my
I think Im turning into a cow.
Ive grown a tail
Im turning very pale.
My cud I chew
Why? I have no clue!
Oh make me a bitchy aitch again
return my teeth to me.
The cornflakes were mad.
The raisins said, Moo!
They said it was a fad.
They said it and they grew
larger and larger
until they became a song
and screamed,
Screw you!
I can knit and I have a little wit, but
oh me oh my
Ive forgotten how to read.
Id unpacked my eyes,
Id put them in the fridge.
Oh, find my eyes for me again,
find them for me.
The cornflakes searched high.
The raisins searched low.
They gave up with sighs
it was such a blow.
Oh me oh my
they couldnt find the aitchy eyes oh!
Oh yes, said the aitch. I love to be right.
Im bright and a little trite, but
Oh me oh my
Ive forgotten how to write.
Id cut off my fingers
Id hidden them in the night.
Oh, find them for me again,
Find my fingers for me.
The cornflakes were sly
The raisins were dry
They had to cry out to the sky,
Oh me oh my
Let us find her fingers oh!
Oh yes, said the aitch. Im so highbrow.
Im wow and I bow, but
Oh me oh my
I think Im turning into a cow.
Ive grown a tail
Im turning very pale.
My cud I chew
Why? I have no clue!
Oh make me a bitchy aitch again
return my teeth to me.
The cornflakes were mad.
The raisins said, Moo!
They said it was a fad.
They said it and they grew
larger and larger
until they became a song
and screamed,
Screw you!
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