EDITING

>From mid morn till evening I felt
free, using your
computer and well living
basket of flowers sitting under 40watts light
and as we shortened the space between words
you  walked with your maid and I checked  mail.

Warming up was a delight just watching colourful

oven friendly glass and pastel plastics,

and cutlery like those designer
magazines.
When you came out of your bath I
could speak to you
with out shifting my gaze-or not watching you choose

your perfume ,not even attempting to guess

and I think how neat and dirt free each nook is.
And your food, organic vegetables and spice

in dishes that sit unused in my showcase

and you talk of squirrels in eaves in their square plot
and we are two women with spines talking about a spineless
female , measuring her mental horizon and level of sickness
and
then all of a sudden we have cleared her off

like how we have
cleared our plates and washed the dishes
down
the sink .All the time , you repeat lessons of two

golden words, and you din
them ,two silver words, the same
copper words into
me ,saying, be selfish
as you
scrub the metal coir with soap suds
and your daughter comes solely with me upstairs to show

how lovingly you have preserved her baby teeth.

in a round plastic see through box. I plan mentally

to be rigorous and brisk . And do up my neglected house
even if it means breathing like a furnace
and not to think it menial, or to feel superior
just because I do not know anything but to make
journal
entries I mentally plan my house work
thoughts come and go like poems in the folder.
I show you my collection, you yours ,and we talk

of bad grammar, and a lady who has had

an overdose of men. I remember asking
Papa,
why do we say
have you had breakfast?
why not have you eaten your food?
what are the refinements of the English language?
And he would say there is this polished sophisticated

speech, and sometimes even American slang, like

don't go into the first chapter, hit
the sack, kick the bucket,

water under the bridge, but she went to an ordinary school

and the society's cultural stock
was the crust she never knew.
and I too walked the dais in my twenties with high heels


but when I served food to my in laws my fingers trembled.
The joy of serving to loved ones is more than
the joy of cooking or fixing up a drink.
I return with delicacies from your side

 payash and egg and potato curry,
plus a kith and kin feeling of sturdy spines and feathers

that flock together ,of having turned back page
of childhood

doled out its fragments between sensible editing


and a feeling of working
towards a focused goal,

knowing full well I have set the ball rolling.

Sivakami Velliangiri





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