Gee Chet, 
   It is never easy to find out someone has been suffering.  It is very easy for folks 
to stand on the outside and tell those in the inner-depths of depression and heartache 
to snap out of it, or pull yourself together.  But unfortuately for some of us, it 
requires much more than strong will.  

   It has been two years ago today that my husband died.  It has been a tulmultuous 
two years.  I have gone from mere moments of understanding God's plan to weeks and 
months of anguishing over the loss and wanting to turn back the hands of time.  It has 
been compounded by the change in income (much less) and having to rely on other 
sources to keep my house.  It would be easier to face these difficulties with my 
husband, but he is not here to comfort me.  I have yet to totally accept it, but just 
in the last couple of weeks I feel I've finally turned a corner.

   Medication helps, but it doesn't fix.  In my case, it has helped me to maintain a 
strong enough will not to do something foolish, but I have still had to find my way 
out of the hole.  Fortunately, I am not alone in the quest for a way out--I have the 
Savior who has been by my side, even when I didn't want to acknowledge Him.  My heart 
goes out to you, and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

   And, Chet, if you are close enough to drive to Indy, perhaps we could get Gary to 
host a small bash for some Zionisti and their kin.  It's only a 3 hour drive for the 
average person (2 1/2 for me) to Indy.  I could go down and back in the same day!  

your sister in Zion

Steven, I can't tell you how much your posts of Elders Clark & Skousen 
helped me today.  It's been a terrible year for us, and I'd completely 
hit bottom - went so far as to drive up to the Indy VA hospital and turn 
myself in as depressed and a clinical loser.  Whap! - Here's a bottle of 
new meds, we'll get you a real appointment in 2 or 3 weeks.  Started to 
feel a little better, but was still feeling helpless in a hopeless 

You (and Elders Clark & Skousen) reminded me that it's far from hopeless 
and I'm far from helpless.  (I may still be unemployed, heavily in debt, 
and flat broke -- but I'm far from helpless.)  And you reminded me of 
something I should never have forgotten:  that all this was forseen and 
actions were taken long ago to save us all.

(You'd think I'd have learned this lesson when I read about the missing 
116 pages and the Plates of Nephi.)

So I'm feeling better, if still weary.  I think a good night's rest, and 
a morning re-reading of you three elders' post, will enable me to face 
tomorrow and continue the fight.

Thanks again!


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