>
> 5-Minute Management > Course > > > > > > Lesson > 1: > > A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is > finishing up her shower, when the doorbell > rings. > > The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs > downstairs. > > When she opens the door, there stands Bob , the next-door > neighbor.. > > Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you > $800 to drop that towel.' > > After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and > stands naked in front of Bob , after a few seconds, Bob > hands her $800 and leaves. > > The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back > upstairs. > > When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who > was that?' > > 'It was Bob the next door neighbor,' she > replies. > > 'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything > about the $800 he owes > me?' > > > Moral of the story: > > If you share critical information pertaining to credit and > risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a > position to prevent avoidable > exposure. > > > Lesson 2: > > A priest offered a Nun a lift. > > She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal > a leg. > > The priest nearly had an accident. > > After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up > her leg. > > The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm > 129?' > > The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let > his hand slide up her leg again. > The nun once again said, 'Father, remember > Psalm 129?' > > The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is > weak.' > > Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on > her way. > > On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up > Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you > will find > glory.' > > Moral of the story: > If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a > great opportunity. > > > Lesson 3: > > A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are > walking to lunch when they find an antique oil > lamp. > > They rub it and a Genie comes out. > The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one > wish.' > 'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk 'I > want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a > care in the world.' > Puff! She's gone. > > 'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want > to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach > with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina > Coladas and the love of my life.' > Puff! He's gone. > > 'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the > manager. > The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office > after lunch' > > Moral of the story: > Always let your boss have the first > say. > > Lesson > 4 > > An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing > nothing. > > A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also > sit like you and do nothing?' > The eagle answered: 'Sure, why > not.' > > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and > rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on th e > rabbit and ate it. > > Moral of the story: > To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, > very high up. > > > Lesson 5 > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. > > 'I would love to be able to get to the top of that > tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the > energy.' > 'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my > droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with > nutrients..' > > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually > gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the > tree. > > The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the > second branch. > > Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly > perched at t he top of the tree. > > He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of > the tree. > > > Moral of the story: > Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep > you there.. > > > Lesson 6 > > A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so > cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large > field.& nbsp; > > While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some > dung on him. > > As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he > began to realize how warm he was. > > The dung was actually thawing > him out! > > He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for > joy. > A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to > investigate. > > Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the > pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate > him. > > > Morals of the story: > (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your > enemy. > > (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is > your > friend. > > (3 ) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to > keep > your mouth shut! > > > THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT > COURSE > Send this to (at least) five bright, humorous people who > have enough of a sense of humor to laugh at > it! > > Have a new Yahoo! Mail account? Kick start your journey by importing all your contacts! http://www.trueswitch.com/yahoo-ph