-Caveat Lector- > February 1, 1999 > > The Top 13 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO > > 13. Its clever name? "Whatevercare" > > 12. Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian, and > Dr. Demento. > > 11. Anesthesia? Your choices: Whiskey, a bullet to bite on, > or a Louisville Slugger to the head. > > 10. Annual breast exam conducted at Hooters. > > 9. "Chemotherapy" machine looks suspiciously like a tanning bed. > > 8. You swear you saw salad tongs and a crab fork on the > instrument tray just before the anesthesia kicked in. > > 7. "Will you be paying in eggs or pelts?" > > 6. Tight budget prevents acquisition of separate rectal > thermometers. > > 5. "Take two leeches and call me in the morning." > > 4. No X-ray machine, but each doctor is issued a pair of > "X-ray specs." > > 3. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle. > > 2. Covered postnatal care consists of leaving your baby on > Mia Farrow's doorstep. > > And Topfive.com's Number 1 Sign You've Joined a Cheap HMO... > > 1. Radiation treatment for cancer patients requires them to > walk around with a postcard from Chernobyl in their pocket. > > [This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] > [ The Top 5 List [EMAIL PROTECTED] http://www.topfive.com ] > [ To forward or repost, please include this section. ] > [ You like to receive credit for your work, and so do we. ] > > Selected from 175 submissions from 55 contributors. > Today's Top Five List authors are: > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > Ann Bartow, Dayton, OH -- 1 (5th #1) > Jonathan D. Colan, Miami, FL -- 2 > Lloyd Jacobson, Washington, DC -- 3 > Bill Muse, Seattle, WA -- 3 (Hall of Famer) > Yoram Puius, Bronx, NY -- 3 > Ken Woo, Encinitas, CA -- 3 (Hall of Famer) > Boyd Johnson, San Diego, CA -- 4 > Michelle Burke, San Francisco, CA -- 5 > Brian Jones, Atlanta, GA -- 6 > John Voigt, Chicago, IL -- 6 (Hall of Famer) > Vickie Neilson, Carlsbad, CA -- 7 > Matt Loiselle, Detroit, MI -- 8 > Jim Rosenberg, Greensboro, NC -- 9, 13 > Barbara Rush, Tulsa, OK -- 10 > Patrick Major, Dallas, OR -- 11 > Perry Friedman, Menlo Park, CA -- 12 > Dave Henry, Slidell, LA -- Topic > Tristan Fabriani, Passaic, NJ -- Banner Tag > Larry G. Hollister, Concord, CA -- Runner Up list name > Dave Wesley, Pleasant Hill, CA -- Honorable Mention list name > Chris White, New York, NY -- List owner/editor > Cheap Trick, Chicago, IL -- Ambiance > ---------------------------------------------------------------- > "Prescriptions For Disaster" and "Bad Medicine" > The Runners Up and Honorable Mention submissions for > today's list can be found at: http://www.topfive.com > ================================================================ DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion and informational exchange list. Proselyzting propagandic screeds are not allowed. Substance—not soapboxing! These are sordid matters and 'conspiracy theory', with its many half-truths, misdirections and outright frauds is used politically by different groups with major and minor effects spread throughout the spectrum of time and thought. That being said, CTRL gives no endorsement to the validity of posts, and always suggests to readers; be wary of what you read. CTRL gives no credeence to Holocaust denial and nazi's need not apply. Let us please be civil and as always, Caveat Lector. ======================================================================== Archives Available at: http://home.ease.lsoft.com/archives/CTRL.html http:[EMAIL PROTECTED]/ ======================================================================== To subscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SUBSCRIBE CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] To UNsubscribe to Conspiracy Theory Research List[CTRL] send email: SIGNOFF CTRL [to:] [EMAIL PROTECTED] Om
