-Caveat Lector-

How is JFK Jr like a penguin? Both are cute but can't fly.

>From Luke Ford Wire Services, Ltd:

Was JFK Jr. Bisexual? Some stories are too true to be good--which is why the
tale of JFK Jr.’s “secret” life had to wait until Camelot’s crown jewels were
scattered forever upon the high seas. Lukeford.com obtained the documents
that follow from a former supermarket-tabloid operative who was a visible
presence--with at least one bylined JFK Jr. story to his credit--on the
early-Nineties JFK Jr. newsbeat. It is lukeford.com’s postition that these
remembrances of JFK Jr. adhere to enough principles of contemporary
journalism--as practiced in, say, New York Magazine’s “Intelligencer”
column--to warrant publication...if only as a colorful artifact of a vanished
era. John-John, we hardly knew ye!

According to George Wayne, a longtime columnist, photographer and nightlife
arbiter elegantiae of Paper magazine and Vanity Fair, "John Kennedy Jr is one
of the most gender-confused personalities of our time. His bisexuality is
legendary in nightlife circles up and down the Eastern seaboard, in
Manhattan, in the Hamptons, on Cape Cod. The only reason this fact has never
come out in the media is because there are other reputations at stake besides
John's. These scenes are heavily populated by other switch-hitters like John,
who also come from prominent families and occupy positions of power and
influence. It's a social climate where everybody's got something to hide. You
know what they say about Catholic boys who get sent away to expensive
boarding schools? Well, it's all true. And that's why you find John in clubs
like the Underground--last known hangout of [homosexual] Malcolm Forbes--and
Rex, where the scenes are awash in erotic ambiguity. The press is always
speculating that John likes these places because that's where the fashion
models and covergirls are. But it's a cardinal rule of nightclubs that
whereever you find models, you'll also find gay men. You do the math. I
happen to know for a fact that John had a three-way orgy with two friends of
mine--a bisexual man and woman ---in the Hamptons two years ago. No, I'm not
going to give you their names. But I was told that John had sex with both the
woman and the man, although, in the case of the man, John just kind of lay
back and let the man service him. It's no lie."

January 8, 1991

Gay terrorists are threatening to accuse John Kennedy Jr. of being a
homosexual in a shocking campaign that has already targeted such allegedly
homosexual celebrities as Merv Griffin, John Travolta, Tom Selleck and Jodi
Foster. A shadowy group of gay guerrillas known as "Outpost" are plastering
New York City with posters that parody the Absolut volka advertisements,
except that, instead of a vodka bottle, the gay ads feature celebrity
pictures along with the words "Absolutely Queer". Within weeks, the gay
pranksters warn, Absolutely Queer John-John Kennedy posters will be going up
all over Manhattan.

"John Kennedy Jr.'s homosexuality is one of New York City's best kept
secrets," declared Dr. James Serafini, an openly gay psychiatrist who is a
co-conspirator in the Outpost scheme. "And now we're going to share it with
the rest of the world. Our poster campaigns against other gay celebrities
have gotten nationwide attention, and now, whether he likes it or not,
John-John is about to be dragged out of the closet. He'd better brace
himself."

New York City homosexuals are gleefully awaiting the smear campaign against
Kennedy. Said Lou Malebta, who operates the pornographic Gay Cable Network:
"This John-John Kennely zap has been a long time coming. It is shocking and
insulting to the gay community that, in the midst of a deadly epidemic, a gay
man of his power and influence would turn his back on his gay brothers and
sisters. He has taken refuge in shame and secrecy, and now the gay community
intends to reveal aim as the homosexual that he really is. There's nothing
like a Kennedy story when it comes to getting results."

Here are just a few of the astonishing charges that sources throughout the
gay community have leveled at John-John:

--That he frequents the same, gay nightclubs as homosexual billionaire Malcom
Forbes.

--That he engaged in an orgy with another man and a woman... And that he
performed a homosexual act with the man.

--That he is frequently sighted on an East Hampton gay beach.

What's more, John John is continually being courted by his many gay admirers.
Revealed another member of the OutPost: "Last year, when John Kennedy passed
the New York and Connecticut bar examination, he was besieged by gushing
congratulatory letters from his many gay fans."

And in a shocking homosexual love poem called "Some Adventures of John
Kennedy Jr.," prominent gay author Dennis Cooper describes the pornographic
fantasies that John-John inspires in gay males. Said a gay publishing
insider: "Tens of thousands of gay readers have encountered John-John as a
gay object of desire in Dennis Cooper's book."

Amazingly, the Outpost views the Absolutely Queer Kennedy poster as a tribute
to their hunky hero. "We're not doing it because we hate him," said gay
psychiatrist Serafini, "but because we adore him, and want to claim him as
one of us."

Walter Hardgraves, an activist art historian with close ties to the gay
radical community, says: "John Kennedy Jr. has been on the OutPost hit list
for almost a year now. Their strategy has been to first concentrate on the
more obvious closet-case personalities like Sandra Bernhard and Merv Griffin.
This has enabled them to refine their techniques and gauge the media
responsiveness. And now that they've created a familiar, virtually
trademarked, context - they will be going forward with the John Kennedy Jr.
campaign.

"A lot of preparation and research has gone into the Absolute-Kennedy
posters. The radical gay community reserves a special contempt for Kennedy
because he is the absolute - no pun intended - embodiment of the hunky homo
hypocrite who wants it both ways. The Kennedy posters will be appearing all
over New York City in the next few weeks. Thousands of them are already being
printed. I've seen the proofs, and I can assure you, when the posters go up,
they won't pass unnoticed. By the time OutPost finishes zapping John-John,
the Palm Beach scandal will look like a picnic."

The public outing of JFK Jr never occurred.

John Winkleman was, at the time of this 1990 interview, a member of Homos
Against Hypocrisy (HAH), a militant cabal of gay media activists dedicated to
exposing clandestine gays in high places. HAH would later materialize as
OutPost, perpetrators of the notorious Absolut-Vodka inspired posters
skeweering encloseted celebs like Jodi Foster and Merv Griffin.

Winkleman: "JFK Jr. is definitely one of the celebrity closet cases who we've
targeted for public humiliation. He's definitely in that same league of
high-rolling homo hypocrites that also includes Merv Griffin, Jodi Foster and
Sandra Bernhard... In the near feature, we intend to blanket New York City
with thousands of Absolut-Kennedy posters accusing John-John of crimes
against the gay community. Instead of hiding behind Darryl Hannah's skirts,
he should be serving as a role model of gay pride. Not only is he the sexiest
male on the planet, he's all ours.

"A friend of mine who works for a gay-managed courier service told me that
last year when John Kennedy passed the Connecticut and New York bar
examinations, he was besieged by gushing congratulatory letters from various
gay admirers (my courier friend admitted that he couldn't resist peeking at
unsealed correspondence addressed to Kennedy).

"It is also a matter of public record that John Kennedy appeared in
solidarity with his gay brethren at an Act-Up protest in downtown Manhattan
last year. Of course, it would have been unseemly for an assistant D.A. to be
caught up in a civil disobediance scenario a block from his own office, so
when Kennedy began to attract too much attention, he slipped away."

Reliable sources also have it that Kennedy shared a hotel room for a weekend
last winter in Miami Beach with an attractive young man named Kemana.
Amazingly, the two checked out together and returned to New York on the same
plane. While the particularities of John-John's taste in men is not
altogether clear - since he is typically found in the presence of other
preppie bisexuals like himself - it is the consensus of insiders, deep
insider, that John-John, like LFP's Mike Albo, likes young Asian boys. But
then again, who doesn't?

"John Kennedy's here, and he's queer - so get used to it."

Camelot just isn't what it used to be.

JFK Jr.'s homosexual tendencies are one of New York City's best-kept secrets.
But among night-life insiders - both hetero and gay - reliable sources
confirm in detail JKF's aberrant appetites.

Prominent Manhattan personality, author, art critic and longtime Kennedy
family acquaintance, Baird Jones, says: "I've worked the door of clubs that
were either gay or at least 90% gay, places where even the women were there
only because they were fag hags who liked to hang out around gay men. Quite
frequently I've worked at gay clubs where I was either a promoter or I was
the door person. These included Private Eyes, Studio 54 and the Underground -
some of the best known gay nightclubs in the city. And in that context, one
of the people who turned up time and again was John Kennedy. In fact, he
would turn up so often that his presence no longer shocked anyone. I also
remember how, at the Club Horatio 113 in Greenwich Village, on the nights
that were gay - in other words, on the nights there was a gay promoter
bringing in a predominantly gay crowd - that John Kennedy was a regular
there. I believe these appearances were noted in the paper with some
frequency. The promoter who springs most to mind for these particularly
events was Scott Curry, known for his flagrantly gay nightclub following.

Jones: "The Underground in Union Square had a gay night, Tuesday night. And
John Kennedy would show up. Of course, he wasn't so stupid as to turn up with
some effeminate gay guy. He'd be with some prepped out macho yuppies instead.
And Kennedy would just kind of hang out and drink beer. Rolling Rock. You
might say that John Kennedy likes to watch.

"A case in point: In the Hamptons, John Kennedy spent an inordinate amount of
time on the gay beach, ostensibly jogging. How do I know this? I've
orchestrated many events in the Hamptons, where I've been known as a
black-tie party giver for many years. And my friends in the Hamptons have
told me that John Kennedy was a regular in terms of running on the gay beach.
Specifically: he would run on the gay beach. I believe it's called Elbow
Beach or something. Talk to George Wayne at Paper magazine about that,
because he's written extensively on the Hamptons. The gay beach incidents
were also reported in the NY Post. [JFK's excuse was he "got lost" on the
beach.]

Jones: "John Kennedy would turn up at the gay clubs wearing very formal
clothes... He'd usually be in a suit or at least a sports jacket, although
not always with a tie. Let's face it: He's a preppy.

"I know people who knew John Kennedy in prep school and grammar school. One
of his friends - in fact his best friend at Collegiate - ended up being gay.
His name was Jason Beghe. He's a muscle man who became an actor in Italy. He
stars in a lot of these low-budget spaghetti westerns, horror movies and
monster films.

Jones: "In the old days - '76, '77 and '78 - John and Jason hung out together
all the time. I was at John Kennedy's house hanging out with these guys.
Jason started making out with another man at the Collegiate graduation party
at their house on 1041 Fifth Avenue, which is where John lived in 1977. It's
Jackie O's place now. It's just a few blocks from my house on East 96th
Street, so I was there all the time."

Lou Maletta is chief operating officer of Gay Cable Network. He says: "I have
just spoken with Jim Serafini - who wants his name kept out of this - and he
confirmed the fact that John-John Kennedy will be the target of an upcoming
OutPost campaign. Serafini is one of the primary OutPost figures, so you can
be sure he means what he says.

"This Kennedy map has been a long time coming. It is shocking and insulting
to the gay community that, in the midst of a deadly epidemic, a man like John
Kennedy, whose fame and influence could be used for good..."

David Aaron Clark is a prolific writer and expert on alternative sexualities
who has assisted the Weekly World News on one story ("Benji Died of AIDS")
and the Enquirer on another ("Schwarzenegger Was A Male Hustler", edited by
Ed Susman and later killed). The former associate editor of the weekly Screw
and, writing under the name Dante Foucalt, was managing editor of the now
defunct homosexual tabloid HOMO, later renamed RAMROD.

Clark says: "As an editor at the world's only weekly sex newspaper, I have
heard innumerable reports detailing John-John Kennedy's homogenic comings and
goings. Not only is John-John a fixture on the gender-bending nightclub
circuit, where you can't tell the tight ends from the wide receivers without
a scorecard, but there are also stories which address Kennedy's carnal quirks
with great specificity - like his continual presence on a gay beach in East
Hampton and his submission to another male in a three-way romp with a woman.

"When the Kennedys are concerned, anything is possible. The testicular
talents of John-John's father are legend, and the apple hasn't fallen far
from the tree - although in John-John's case, the apple may have been bruised
a little when it fell. But a kid who's seen his father blasted by a sniper
when he was only a toddler is bound to turn out a little unusual. Especially
when he's got an overbearing mother and sister. You can't really blame the
kid.

"John-John is yet another instance of how the Kennedy myth has reached into
every corner of American life, not to mention lowlife. It was only a matter
of time before a Kennedy would be touching America's gay inhabitants as well.
One has only to look at prominent gay author Dennis Cooper's book of gay
erotic poems, Idols, to realize the extent to which John-John has become a
part of America's gay brotherhood. There are tens of thousands of editions of
the book Idols circulating throughout the nation, meaning that countless
homosexual men have joined with Dennis Cooper in celebrating John-John
Kennedy as an object of male sexual desire. And from what I understand,
John-John isn't bothered one bit by the attention they are giving him."

In 1990, the National Enquirer, in an article co-written by Mark Kramer, said:

The real reason John F. Kennedy Jr. - called "The Sexiest Man Alive" - failed
the bar exam twice is girls, girls and more girls!

The 29-year old hunk is juggling romances from coast to coast, even though he
promised his mom Jackie Onassis he'd buckle down and study...

His most recent escapade was a secret romance with an unknown, but simply
stunning, willowy blonde model named Stephanie Schmid in California - and The
ENQUIRER has exclusive photos of the starry-eyed couple cuddling on the
boardwalk.

...And John confessed to a pal: "Sometimes I think I'm addicted to women. I
can't stop chasing them.

"I know girls are the reason I've failed the bar exam twice.

"I guess I'm a lot like my dad when it comes to women. I love 'em.

"The more beautiful and sexy, the better."

August 30, 1999

Another Bisexual Kennedy!

This story was scheduled to run in America’s third-most beloved
tabloid...until a certain journo refused to relinquish his audiotapes! The
tapes recently arrived at lukeford.com under circumstances that Luke would be
happy to reveal under subpoena.

Now it can be told: Rory Kennedy, now-married daughter of slain Sen. Robert
Kennedy, once locked loins and merged mucosae with Jane Fonda’s daugher
Vanessa Vadim!

Their torrid, on-again-off-again romance dates back to their Ivy League years
together at Brown University, where, according to members of Gotham’s
cognitive elite, it was the worst-kept secret on campus.

Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island, from which the late bisexual
John F. Kennedy Jr. graduated in 1983, is a famed hotbed of sexual
experimentation (also attended by the late Sen. Robert Kennedy’s offspring
Kerry and Douglas).

“Brown is environment notorious for its "four-year lesbians," or "lugs,"
which stands for "lesbian until graduation,” explained “Alyssa,” a
succulently cerebral Brown graduate and writer with a non-unfamiliar byline.
“Vanessa Vadim was already the reigning campus dyke when Rory Kennedy arrived
in ‘87. As a women’s-studies major, Rory soon came under Vanessa’s spell.
Before long both of them were them were members of the most outrageous,
unabashed lesbian cliques.”

Vanessa Vadim’s notoriety was fueled by her Oct., ‘89 arrest while attempting
a heroin buy with a fellow Brown student, who was nabbed with a hypodermic
needle and, according to cops, “a substance supected to be heroin” in his
possession. Cops also said Vadim was “abusive” and “interfered with the
arrests.”

Vadim told the New York Post that she and her co-arrestee “were down from
college doing a study on narcotics.”

Studious Vanessa Vadim is the seed of film director Roger Vadim-- whose 1968
sci-fi cine sexer Barbarella first showcased Jane Fonda’s nubile pods.
Vanessa grew up in the controversy-steeped Oakland, Calfornia household of
her stepfather, onetime radical and state legislator Toy Hayden, to whom
Fonda was married before Ted Turner.

Vanessa was only one-and-a-half when she was taken to her first sit-in at
Alcatraz. From here, the turbulent trail to Rory Kennedy’s clit was paved
with activism on behalf of California grape-pickers, the no-nukes movement,
anti-apartheid, and, circa 1988, queer rights.

Rory Kennedy was born six months after her father's televised assassination
in 1968, grew up with an alcoholic mother, a passel of sex-addicted cousins
including one suspected murderer among them, and lost one of her brothers,
David, to a drug overdose.

“Rory Kennedy and Vanessa Vadim are not happy,” declared professional lesbian
Ann Northrop in POZ, the lifestyle magazine for HIV-positives. “They hate
talking to the press. They don't want to discuss their famous parents. They
don't want to talk about their personal lives.”

What they wanted to talk about was needle exchange.

After graduating Brown, Kennedy had joined Vadim in compiling footage for
their increasingly famous video, Fire in Our House. The celebutantes visited
needle-exchange sites all over the countries. Vadim, of course, already had
this study under way. Included in the wonkish video’s observations on
American junkie life are the words of "Hakim....a member of community. And
one of the things Hakim does in his life is shoot up. But Hakim is also a
father and a productive, valued citizen...”

Meanwhile, another American junkie, tape-recorded by occasional lukeford.com
operative Krash in an East Village storefront not far from the Essex Street
drug location where co-directrix Vadim had been busted, had this say: “I was
chained to Vanessa Vadim for about three hours when we were being transferred
from the bullpen to 100 Center Street. And there’s really no better way to
get to know someone. When Vanessa came into the bullpen at about noon the
morning after she was busted, all the prosties and skeezers were whistling
and cat-calling at the cracker chick with the expensive haircut and leather
jacket. Vanessa held her ground--like she was used to living dangerously. We
got to talking, and when the conversation came around to sex and drugs,
Vanessa went on about how she’d done plenty of both. She told me about these
rich lesbians eating each others’ pussies at this college she went to and at
these clubs in the Village. Eventually she told me about her affair with
Kennedy’s daughter Rory. Of course, I didn’t believe it.”

Recalled amphora-shaped, freckle-misted “Alyssa,” “Every Brown University
coed I've ever known has been to the Clit Club [ a lesbian late-night salon
that once floated from one location to the next], so when I saw Rory and
Vanessa there, I wasn't terribly surprised. I saw them in the basement of the
Pyramid Club on Avenue A. You had go-go girls on the bar in various degrees
of undress. The clientele consisted of the most radical, in-your-face dykes
in town. So it wasn't much of a shock to see the two of them chewing face in
a shadowy corner. This was their natural element: eroticism with a political
subtext."

The Kennedy family finally put its foot down in spring, 1995 after an
appearance by the pixie-dusted video gals on The Charlie Rose Show. According
to Kennedy expert C. David Heymann, the klan --a privately held corporation
reeling from such recent PR gaffes David Kennedy’s overdose and the Willie
Smith rape trial -- offered Rory a choice between her public dyke persona and
disinheritance. Thus began Rory’s “romance” with writer, editor, dilettante
and signator of the standard Kennedy non-disclosure agreement Mark Bailey,
whom reluctant hetero Rory finally married on August 2, 1999--but not without
revisiting whever possible Vanessa Vadim’s inner surfaces as well as the Clit
Club and dyke-friendly establishments.

And ironically, according to best-selling Kennedy biographer C. David
Heymann, it was to Rory’s flimsily closeted cousin John-John--who died en
route to Rory’s wedding--that the bisexual Brownie first confessed her
Sapphic secret!

www.lukeford.com

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