-Caveat Lector-
NOAH VS. "PATRIOTS"
And the Lord spoke to Noah and said, "In one year, I am going to make it
rain and cover the whole earth with water until all flesh is destroyed. But
I want you to save the righteous people and two of
every kind of living thing on the earth. Therefore, I am commanding you to
build an Ark." In a flash of lightening, God delivered the specifications
for an Ark. In fear and trembling, Noah took the plans
and agreed to build the Ark. "Now, remember," said the Lord, "You must
complete the Ark and bring everything aboard in one year." Exactly one year
later, fierce storm clouds covered the earth and
all the seas of the earth went into a tumult. The Lord looked down and saw
Noah lying in his front yard, bleeding. "Noah," God shouted down, "where is
the Ark?" "Oh, Lord, please forgive me!" cried
Noah. "I did my best, but there were big problems. First, I was attacked by
some Aryan Nationers, since I am from the Middle East and now of pure Aryan
blood. Then I got into a fight with some
skin heads and “Christian Identity” people who attacked me for not believing
in Jesus (who is that guy anyway?) and for being a member of the ZOG. Then
my neighbor objected, claiming I was
building a landing pad for the UN black helicopters he saw buzzing around
violating his “sovereign air space”; so I had to convince him I was not an
NWO operative. I had problems getting enough
wood or anything for the Ark, after I was indicted by a “common law court”
and the local stores were told “don’t sell to the indicted Jew”. When I told
them I wanted to build the ark, and that God
had told me to save all the righteous people. They didn't take very kindly
to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of the Creator of
the universe since they assume their version of God
is the valid one and that their “sovereign citizen” jurisdiction was the
valid one. They assumed ARK was some government plant to ship them off to
concentration camps and that I was suggesting some
sort of One World Religion as part of a One World Government as part of a
New World Order. That got a lien put on the ark by the “common law court”
and they ran in here and grabbed all by tools
to “remittance of the lien”. Finally the local “militia” drove a Ryder truck
full of explosives up to the ark and detonated it, killing a lot of my
neighbors and leaving me this bleeding mess.
"I really don't think I can finish the Ark for another 5 or 6 years, at
least!" wailed Noah. The sky began to clear, the sun began to shine, and the
seas began to calm. A rainbow arched across the sky.
Noah looked up hopefully. "You mean you are not going to destroy the earth,
Lord?" "No," said the Lord sadly. "It's too late. The “patriots” already
have."
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