-Caveat Lector- Please send as far and wide as possible. Thanks, Robert Sterling Editor, The Konformist http://www.konformist.com http://www.salon.com/ent/col/mill/2001/04/04/thats_my_bush/index.html President Dumbass In the bratty "That's My Bush," the "South Park" boys claim they're sending up sitcoms, not George W. Right. And Cartman's a genius. - - - - - - - - - - - - By Joyce Millman April 4, 2001 | There are some pretty good jokes at George W.'s expense in "That's My Bush," the new Comedy Central sitcom, premiering Wednesday at 10:30 p.m., from "South Park" brats Trey Parker and Matt Stone. But Parker and Stone's best jokes may have been the straight-faced answers they gave the press in "That's My Bush"-related interviews over the past few months. They're not really making fun of the president, they insist, they're more interested in making fun of sitcoms, which they hate. "'Everybody Loves Raymond' takes a character and makes him into an icon," Parker explained in an interview with the news service Reuters. "We thought it would be so subversive to take someone who's real and maybe a little vilified and try to make everybody love him." If Al Gore had been declared the winner of the 2000 election, claim Parker and Stone, they would have done a sitcom about him. Hey, they didn't even vote last November! But if they had, they might have had Republican leanings. Yeah, and Eric Cartman is a Rhodes scholar. "That's My Bush" (the official title has an exclamation point as a shout-out to the short-lived '70s black sitcom "That's My Mama!") is a rude and crude portrayal of Bush as President Dumbass. It made me laugh out loud a few times. But, then, I voted for the other guy. "He's the president in residence/He's sort of in charge/ He's got the whole country sayin'/'That's my Bush!'" goes the swingy theme song, played over a montage of Our Leader in one wacky Lucy mess after another (covered in soap suds, wearing a maid's uniform). Played by Timothy Bottoms, the George W. Bush of "That's My Bush" is an inept sitcom paterfamilias in the tradition of Ray Barone, Hal from "Malcolm in the Middle" and, yes, Homer Simpson. He's the bumbling head of the household (and country) who has to be rescued from jams by the smarter grown-ups around him, his long-suffering wife Laura (Carrie Quinn Dolin) and his advisor Karl Rove (Kurt Fuller). In the April 11 episode, for instance, George's college frat buddies come to visit right when he's supposed to witness an execution to show his critics that his support for the death penalty is rock solid. Now, George doesn't want to witness an execution ("That doesn't sound any fun!"), but he doesn't want to look like a wuss in front of his friends, either. So he and Karl arrange a fake execution, during which George gets carried away showing off for his pals. He taunts the prisoner ("You have the right to die like a little bitch and have your soul sent to hell!"), jabs him with the lethal injection and threatens him with the "gas chamber" before breaking wind in his direction. But guess what? There's been a zany sitcom mix-up! "Ah can't believe ah killed that man," George wails to Laura in the obligatory "lessons we have learned" bedtime scene at the end of the episode. "He begged for his life and I farted on him!" To which the wise Laura soothingly replies, "It's no different from those 152 men you put to death in Texas. You just did it yourself this time!" As a sitcom spoof, "That's My Bush" has all the clich�s down cold. There's the sassy maid Maggie (Marcia Wallace), who rags on the president with the sort of crowd-pleasing topical barbs sassy maids were always flinging at their employers in '70s sitcoms. "Don't you have laundry to do?" George asks her, exasperated. "Yep, I gotta do like your father did and separate the whites from the coloreds," she snaps, as the audience woo-hoos on cue. Then there's Larry the nosy neighbor (John D'Aquino), who pops into the White House unannounced, grabs a beer out of the fridge and shoots the breeze with George. When Larry comes up with the beginnings of a scheme, George narrows his eyes and grunts, "What'choo talkin' 'bout?" like Gary Coleman on "Diff'rent Strokes." And, of course, there's George's mutated Ralph Kramden tag line, which the audience recites along with him: "One of these days, Laura [chuckle, chuckle], I'm gonna punch you in the face!" One sitcom clich� missing from "That's My Bush," though, is the brood of adorable, mischievous kids. Comedy Central ordered Parker and Stone to drop their planned portrayal of Bush twins Jenna and Barbara as sexy lesbian lovers. Now there are no children around for Laura to mother, but that's OK, because she has her hands full with George. Timothy Bottoms makes a fine W., even though he looks more like Bush the elder than his son. Bottoms nails George as an intellectually challenged, yet earnest, guy who's trying as hard as he can to be an adequate authority figure. All he wants is for people to get along, his wife to not be pissed at him and to not have to think too hard. Poor George. He makes such a mess trying to make everybody happy, you end up feeling sorry for him. Which, I guess, sort of proves Parker and Stone's point about the transforming power of sitcoms. Parker and Stone's spoofy format, however, is in danger of swiftly wearing out its welcome. Dopey sitcom clich�s are fun to savage -- once. After a couple of episodes, you start to feel like you're watching the 12:30 a.m. "Saturday Night Live" skit that wouldn't end. Compared to "That's My Bush," "South Park" is a model of comic shapeliness and economy. And aren't Parker and Stone being just a tad snobby, lumping all sitcoms, the sly and the lame, together in their discard pile? Come on, everybody doesn't love Raymond, as viewers of that sharp and nasty show know. But the first two episodes of "That's My Bush" do have some flashes of unvarnished political satire, and they're stunning in the way they use grotesque humor to suggest even more grotesque truths. If you are interested in a free subscription to The Konformist Newswire, please visit: http://www.eGroups.com/list/konformist Or, e-mail [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the subject: "I NEED 2 KONFORM!!!" (Okay, you can use something else, but it's a kool catch phrase.) Visit the Klub Konformist at Yahoo!: http://clubs.yahoo.com/clubs/klubkonformist Your use of Yahoo! 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