-Caveat Lector- From http://toogoodreports.com/column/general/shelton/20020116.htm
}}}>Begin On Prince Harry: We Really Don't Care By Lee R. Shelton IV Toogood Reports [Wednesday, January 16, 2002; 12:01 a.m. EST] URL: http://ToogoodReports.com/ Is anyone else annoyed by the attention the British royal family receives? Even after Princess Diana´s passing, the media can´t seem to tear themselves away from the pageantry of palace pretenses for one second. Like a pride of lions stalking its prey, scores of reporters are crouched and ready to pounce on the latest story, no matter how insignificant it may be. The most recent bit of juicy gossip concerns Prince Harry, the second son of Charles and Diana. It appears he has a little drug problem. A senior member of the royal family's staff noticed the strong smell of cannabis (that´s "marijuana" in American) and alerted Prince Charles. Harry confessed to his father that he had smoked cannabis on several occasions and has even been known to drink to excess at parties. With the ensuing media maelstrom over the dropping of this little bombshell, you´d think Germany had resumed its air raid campaigns over London. The British tabloids, which make filthy, old rags like the National Enquirer seem like fine linen by comparison, have dubbed the teenaged royal upstart "Prince Harry Pothead." First of all, who really cares? Secondly, is that the best they could do? (I´m beginning to see why the English haven´t produced any good comedies since Monty Python and the Holy Grail .) Prince Charles was very diplomatic in dealing with the situation. Rather than give the blue-blooded brat a swift kick to the posterior, he consulted with eldest son William on what the best course of action would be. According to a friend of the family, Charles "did gently question him, asking, ‘Are these really the right people to be hanging around with? Are these really the right things for you to be doing at 16 in your position?' Harry was very mature about it and quickly realized the error of his ways." As if that brutal tongue-lashing wasn´t enough, young Harry was sent to a drug rehabilitation center and forced to listen to horror stories about addicts who had progressed from playfully flirting with Mary Jane to becoming caught up in the seedy, hardcore world of Madame Heroin. "It's not that Charles felt Harry needed treatment," the friend continued, "but he definitely needed a shock." The smell of cannabis has been absent from the premises ever since, indicating that Harry has gone straight... or at least has switched to a more potent brand of incense. Pot smoking, underage drinking — are these the kinds of problems we have to worry about in the world today? With everything else that's going on, these are the kinds of problems we should be hoping for. In a time when we are waging a global war on terrorism, I can´t believe that this is what passes for breaking news in what was once the most powerful empire in the world. With all the media coverage given to this story, you would think reporters would have at least asked the one, crucial question all of us want answered: Did the Prince inhale? Perhaps there will be an update forthcoming. Members of the British royal family seem to carry with them a certain mystique that captures not only the fancy of the English people but closet Anglophiles all over the world. Is it the celebrity status? Is it the bevy of butlers with British accents? Is it the horse- drawn carriage rides? Is it the lavish lifestyle enjoyed at taxpayer expense? I must admit that I have never understood the near-unhealthy fascination people have with the royal family. The royals are people who have no political power, no vote in parliament, and are essentially living on welfare, albeit an extravagant form of welfare. You recall the immense coverage given to Princess Diana when she was tragically killed in a car crash in 1997 and the seemingly insignificant coverage given to Mother Teresa when she died less than a week later. Contrary to what many people may believe, England is not a monarchy and the royal family is not deserving of the attention it receives. Reports of Prince Harry's misfortunes bring to mind the recent commotion caused by First Daughters Barbara and Jenna Bush. News of their underage drinking was plastered (no pun intended) across newspapers all over the country and then disappeared once the story ran its course. Members of the royal family and those close to them believe that this story has run its course as well and are trying to put the issue to rest. Buckingham Palace released a statement saying that Queen Elizabeth II "hopes the matter can now be considered as closed." A family friend said, "If [Harry's] brother and his father didn't care so much about him, there might well have been a different end to this story." I'm sure both the queen and the friend don't believe for one minute that Harry's problems are over, but they know that pretending all is well might disperse the newshounds. Well, more power to them. In the grand scheme of things, does any of this really matter? Let's look at it another way — we have recently seen that taking a bite of a pretzel can pose an even greater health risk than taking a puff on a joint, so I fail to see why the fact that Prince Harry smoked pot is front page material. If it had been learned that he was running an international drug smuggling ring, that would have been worth reporting. My advice to the media is this: Please find something to report on that is actually worth the 50 cents we shell out for a newspaper. What with a global war on terrorism raging, the European Union expanding its power, Israel on the brink of an all-out war with Iraq, and Jack Van Impe reinterpreting Bible prophecy each week so that no one knows what to think, I believe you can do better than to expound on the herbal indulgences of the British royal family. NOTICE TO WRITERS: To obtain required information prior to submitting your essay to Toogood Reports for publication send for “Commentary Submissions” guidelines. Nonconforming submissions will not be considered for publication. January 16, 2002 RECENT COLUMNS: 01/09/02: Is U.S. National Security A Lesson In Inadequacy? 01/02/02: The Misplaced Passions Of Our Misguided Patriotism 12/26/01: What Do You Mean This Isn't A War On Islam? 12/19/01: Washington Elitism And American Defeatism 12/12/01: Was September 11 America's "Great Awakening?" 12/05/01: Public Relations, Patriotic Revelry, And Promises Reneged 11/23-25/01: Rediscovering And Restoring Our Rich National Heritage 11/16-18/01: True Leadership In The Midst Of Crisis 11/09-11/01: This Is What Separates U.S. From The Terrorist Nations Of The World 11/02-04/01: What Separates The U.S. From The Terrorist Nations Of The World? 10/26-28/01: The Lost Art Of Declaring War 10/19-21/01: Someone Slap Me — Louis Farrakhan Is Starting To Make Sense 10/12-14/01: Those Who "Blame America First" May Have Good Reason 10/05-07/01: When, Where, And How Will The U.S. Be Attacked Next? 09/28-30/01: Terrorism, Tyranny, And John Ashcroft's Good Intentions 09/21-23/01: Liberty And Safety: Do Americans Deserve Either One? 09/14-16/01: Any Retaliation Must Be Tempered With A Change In Our Foreign Policy 09/07-09/01: "In Order To Form A More Perfect Union..." 08/31-0902/01: Secession Must Remain An Option For The Preservation Of Liberty 08/24-26/01: U.S. Troops In Macedonia: The Next Step In Our New Manifest Destiny 08/17/01: The Bombing Of Iraq: Part Of Our New Manifest Destiny 08/10/01: Mein Knopf 08/03/01: Jackals For Justice 07/27/01: Taxing Our Patience 07/21-22/01: Statesmanlike Decision Is Easy Way Out For Bush In Stem- Cell Dilemma 07/13/01: The Pledge Of Allegiance: Love It Or Leave It ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Toogood Reports contributor Lee Shelton is a freelance writer residing in Minneapolis, MN with his wife, Dawn. He describes his politics as "Paleo- Conservatarian" — a conservative sociopolitical philosophy with libertarian leanings, tempering both with Biblical and constitutional principles, and advocating a return to the federalist ideals of our forefathers. Visit Lee's personal website or e-Mail him at [EMAIL PROTECTED] [ Front Page News | Page Two Links | Book Shoppe | Link To Us ] Copyright 1999, 2000 by Toogood Reports. All rights reserved. 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