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THE DAFYOMI DISCUSSION LIST
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Rosh Kollel: Rabbi Mordecai Kornfeld
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[REPLY TO THIS MESSAGE TO DISCUSS THE DAF WITH THE KOLLEL]
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Kesuvos 118: Adulteresses
Chaim Baruch Kaufman asks:
Dear Kollel,
Thank you for all of your work to bring these studies to all those who can
benefit from it. I am very appreciative for all that Ive gotten from you
and that there is no obligation of payment, for those struggling in that
way.
Due to my appreciation I am writing this criticism reluctantly. I think
that it's clear that the author of your Point-by-Point section has poor
English skills, and although I've been tempted to write often, I remind
myself of my appreciation and feel that I shouldn't mention errors. But in
today's daf (Yevamos 118b) the author chose to interpret the very last
statement, by a tanna, as saying:
(Beraisa): All women married to such men have Bi'as Zenus and attribute the
child to their husbands.
Is it absolutely necessary to interpret the statement this way? Are there
rishonim or achronim that say this is absolutely the exact meaning? As
we've seen often in this very masechta, when a tanna makes an absolute
statement, like saying in such a case he/she must do this and that, which
the gemara asks how that can be when they are contradictory processes, the
answer is almost always that it means "OR" and not "AND". Wouldn't it have
been more proper to say, for instance, that all women married to imperfect
men can be more easily tempted to have have znus and then use their
husbands as a cover? Or that all women married to imperfect men and have
znus, will find it easy to use their husbands as cover?
Is the author saying that there is a tanna is teaching us that Divrei
Elokim Chaim say that all women married to imperfect men have affairs?
Without a doubt, the words chosen by the author say exactly this. That
there is a tanna teaching that HKBH's Torah teaches us that all women,
across the board (exceptions to the rule not withstanding), married to
imperfect men will absolutely cheat on them?
If so, should we not be chosheish for this teaching, and at the very very
least, warn all imperfect chasanim that they should not trust their wives
completely and, maybe, track her or check after her for as long as they are
married? Shouldn't every chasan class (except for those who are not
afflicted by one of these imperfections) have earnest warnings and if
possible suggest not to get married.
(Even if you'll say that we can't suggest that a person not keep a mitzvah,
(ie. not marrying and doing pru urvu) but in such a situation the marriage,
and thus the children, are in question are in themselves a safek. When she
will eventually be m'zaneh, he is required to divorce her and he is
therefore living in sin, and therefore not mitzvah.
Is this the necessary interpretation? If so, please tell me the source so
that I can humbly apologize.
I often come off speaking sharply when I write by email. I tried to do so,
but I do sincerely apologize if this question is written improperly.
With appreciation,
Chaim Baruch Kaufman
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The Kollel replies:
Thank you for your warm words, Reb Chaim Baruch!
Regarding your point about the Beraisa's statement - I don't think that the
statement can be interpreted to mean "all women married to imperfect men
who have znus, will find it easy to use their husbands as cover." That
statement would be true of all adulteresses, not just those married to
imperfect men.
Of course, Chazal do not mean that 100% (or nearly so) of the time such
marriages sour. It was intentionally stated in an exaggerated manner in
order to bring attention to something that would ordinarily be overlooked.
(We are told in Chulin 90b that Tana'im - and even the Torah itself -
resort to exaggeration.)
Regarding warning certain Chasanim to be more protective of their spouses -
I find it difficult to accept your suggestion in practice. The more
suspicion we bring into a marriage, the less loyalty is developed. Rather,
the words of the Tana were meant to inform rabbis who might have to deal
with the sad results of such a marriage and should be aware of the likely
possibilities.
With regard to Chasan teachers - if they feel that a Shiduch fits into the
categories of this Gemara they would do well to take the opposite stance.
Emphasizing to the Chasan how important loyalty is in marriage would be a
more positive way for them to influence the outcomes of such marriages.
Best regards,
Mordecai Kornfeld
Kollel Iyun Hadaf
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