The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the EU rather than German
which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her
Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan
have 1 less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
"fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekte
to reach the stage where more komplilated changes are possible.
Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and
they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be
no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand
ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!


Juste pour rire...
  -------------------------

  CherE AmiE,

  La Suisse devrait-elle rejoindre les rangs de l'Union européenne? Ce
  petit pays pluriculturel a résolu ses différences linguistiques d'une façon
  bien différente que sa grande soeur confédérale. Jugez-en plutôt.


  *******************************************************************
  The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
  will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
  other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government
  conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
  accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".

  In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
  make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
  favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
  1
  less letter.

  There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
  troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like
  "fotograf" 20% shorter.

  In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekte
  to reach the stage where more komplilated changes are possible.
  Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
  always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
  horible mes of the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they
  should go away.

  By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
  "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

  During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
  kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
  kombinations of leters.

  After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
  mor
  trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.

  ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!


Marc Ducrey
Université de Lausanne
IMédia - Interface Sciences, Médecine et Société
Faculté des Sciences
Décanat
Collège Propédeutique
CH-1015 Lausanne

Local: Collège Propédeutique, bureau 307

Tél.:   (+) 41 21 692 35 16
Fax:    (+) 41 21 692 35 05
E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]

http://www.unil.ch/imedia/



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