Re: My Bella's baby died

[Gloria B. Lane]

Just want to say, I'm so sorry Hideyo...   Gloria   ----- Original Message ----- From: catatonya To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 7:49 PM Subject: RE: My Bella's baby died I'm sorry Hideyo.  Kittens are just so tiny, and it often happens that at least one won't make it.  Like you said, you don't know if what you did caused the kitten to die.  You did the best you could.  They are so tiny and fragile that it's just a miracle to me when they survive.  I used to foster kittens from the shelter, and I have lost more kittens than I want to remember. :(      t Hideyo Yamamoto <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: I went into the nursing room about 1:30 am to feed Bella and to make sure that all the babies are doing ok as I was feeding Bella, I noticed one of the babies was sleeping her mouth open, and nose sounded stuffy --- so I checked her temperature and it was lower than other babies and I checked her weight and was much less than others and seemed that she lost some weight or at least has not gained for the last day or two.. so I freaked out.. and I started warming her by wrapping her in wool and put her right by my stomach so that she could be gradually warmed up as the book said it’s danger to warm a chilled baby too quickly using a head pad.. and the book said that I should give some water/sugar and not to give any formula to a chilled baby.. and I did .. and soon after I did, she stopped breathing in a few minutes.. I think I choker her with water.. I am so ignorant, and stupid and cruel.  Bella was still nursing her, and I should have just put her back with Bella once I warmed her a little bit without trying to give any water – I was not careful when giving her water and probably gave her more than she could handle at a time. Truth is we don’t know exactly what would have happened to her, but one thing I know that she did not die when she did if I did not do what I did.. she looked healthy, I think she just got chilled because I left a window open a little because Bella was hot ---- I cannot bring her back, but right now I feel that I need to feel this pain – I keep remembering her little meow and how I should have just put her back with her mama trust that her mama knows better than I do.. it’s too much of price to pay.. I had to take her life away to realize how stupid I am – I am sorry, you guys, I am just so sad and am just so angry at myself for carelessness and don’t know what to do and I just miss her so very much..   From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of Sherry DeHaan Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 10:27 AM To: felvtalk@felineleukemia.org Subject: RE: My Bella's baby died   Hideyo,I know you did not hurt the baby on purpose.What happened?? You are a great mom to all the animals you help.I know how it feel to hurt a small animal and cause its death,it is horrible,I still get a stomache ache when I think about it and it happened over 20 years ago Hideyo Yamamoto <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:   Hi, everyone, today is one of the saddest day of my life – one of Bella’s babies died this morning around 2 am and I think I caused her to die. I am just too upset about what happened.  But, I wanted to help, but instead I killed her.  She was only 10 days old and she did not even get to open her eyes.  All I know was that it was definitely not her time to go yet.  But I killed her.  I am so mad at myself and am just going insane from a grief of losing her.  I was supposed to protect Bella and her babies and not to hurt them.  I could still hear her meow right before she stopped breathing.. I am such a ignorant and stupid, I should just let Bella who knows what she is doing to continue to care for her. I did not event get to name her.. Bella is very sad and does not know what happened – it’s all my fault – everyone please please pray that the little baby angel is at heaven and comes back as a new life very very soon and have much happiness in her new life – and I am very sure that most of you know how this feels.  It’s sad enough to lose her, but it’s unbearable to know that you are the who killed an innocent life and she was not ready to go. Please do not make me feel better as I feel that it’s sinful to feel better – she is gone, there is nothing I can do about it, but I just cannot stop crying and am just so angry myself and feel so badly for the baby and Bella –   Thank you for all your prayers for the baby –   Hideyo   How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.