Paul, I think I found a good source to look at for the answer, use a function called calculateDropIndex(event)
I don't know enough about it yet, but here is a page to look at, just right-click to view the source, and copy and paste it into your own new flex project... Hope you can dissect it and understand it and put it to use like i did... anyway... later.... if anything just do some research on calculateDropIndex Here is the link where the project and source is: http://thanksmister.com/dnddatagrid/index.html