--- F R E N D Z of martian --- > Microsoft Dinner 98 > > INSTRUCTIONS FOR MICROSOFT'S NEW TV DINNER > PRODUCT: > You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing > so you agree to accept and honour Microsoft rights > to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a > byte of your dinner (which would constitute an > infringement of Microsoft's rights). You may, > however, let others smell and look at your dinner > and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. > > If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the > dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these > keystrokes: > > most.dinn.//08.5min@50%heat > > Then enter: > > ms//start.cook_dindin/yummy\|/yum~:-)gohot#cookme. > > If you have a Macintosh microwave oven, insert > the dinner and press start. The oven will set > itself and cook the dinner. > > If you have a Unix microwave oven, insert the > dinner, enter the ingredients of the dinner found > on the package label, the weight of the dinner, > and the desired level of cooking and press start. > The oven will calculate the time and heat and > cook the dinner exactly to your specification. > > Be forewarned that Microsoft dinners may crash, > in which case your oven must be restarted. This > is a simple procedure. Remove the dinner from the > oven and enter: > ms.nodarn.good/tryagain\again/again.darnit > > This process may have to be repeated. Try > unplugging the microwave and then doing a cold > reboot. If this doesn't work, contact your oven > vendor. The oven itself is obviously on the > blink. > > Many users have reported that the dinner tray is > far too big, larger than the dinner itself, > having many useless compartments, most of which > are empty. These are for future menu items. If > the tray is too large to fit in your oven, you > will need to upgrade your equipment. > > Dinners are only available from registered > outlets, and only the chicken variety is > currently produced. If you want another variety, > call Microsoft Help and they will explain that > you really don't want another variety. Microsoft > Chicken is all you really need. > > Microsoft has disclosed plans to discontinue all > smaller versions of their chicken dinners. Future > releases will only be in the larger family size. > Excess chicken may be stored for future use, but > must be saved only in Microsoft approved > packaging. > > Microsoft promises a dessert with every dinner > after year 2000. However, that version has yet to > be released. > > Users have permission to get thrilled in advance. > > Microsoft dinners may be incompatible with other > dinners in the freezer, causing your freezer to > self-defrost. This is a feature, not a bug. Your > freezer probably should have been defrosted anyway > > -- Linux. May the source be with you. W4U - The World Wide Web Workers' Union - http://w4u.dhs.org/ W4U archive at http://www.mail-archive.com/w4u-info@marsbard.com/ -- Sent to you via the frendz list at marsbard.com The archive is at http://www.mail-archive.com/frendz@marsbard.com/
