The only reason I would take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy 
breathing again... 

- It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one 
minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 
months in a nursing home at 50,000 per month. 

- I joined a health club last year, spent about 40,000 bucks. Haven't lost a 
pound. Apparently you have to show up. 

- I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm 
doing. 

- I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 

- I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 

- The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 

- If you are going to try cross-country running, start with a small country. 
     
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