Water in the Glass 

A well-known proverb states that an optimistic would say a glass is half full, 
while a pessimist would say it is half empty. What would people of different 
professions and walks of life say? 

The BANKER would say that the glass has just under 50% of its net worth in 
liquid assets. 

The GOVERNMENT would say that the glass is fuller than if the opposition party 
were in power. 

The OPPOSITION would say that it is irrelevant because the present 
administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected. 

The ECONOMIST would say that, in real terms, the glass is 25% fuller than at 
the same time last year. 

The PHILOSOPHER would say that, if the glass was in the forest and no one was 
there to see it, would it be half anything? 

The PSYCHIATRIST would ask, "What did your mother say about the glass?" 

The PHYSICIST would say that the volume of this cylinder is divided into two 
equal parts; one a colorless, odorless liquid, the other a colorless, odorless 
gas. Thus the cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the 
cylinder is full, one with a gas, one with a liquid. 

The SEASONED DRINKER would say that the glass doesn't have enough ice in it. 

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