Thanks Harish,
Thanks for the information about Rahi, Muskan and Tulir.
I am staying in Bomaby, and studying in a reputed school/junior college but I
was not knowing about any such organisation. I got lot of friends. I talked to
them and nobody knew anything about such organisations.
After I join this community I found a platform where I can
freely and boldly discuss such things. I got good and bad experiences here.
Found really good friends. I told my friends also to join this community. I
told them that to join this community you need not be a gay. I told them that
gays are not bad some of them are really loving and caring. One should learn
how to keep a safe distance.
---- Shatru
--- On Sun, 5/4/09, Aham (alias Harish Iyer) <aham.ra...@yahoo.com> wrote:
From: Aham (alias Harish Iyer) <aham.ra...@yahoo.com>
Subject: Re: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A suggestion
To: gay_bombay@yahoogroups.com, gaybom...@yahoogroups.com
Date: Sunday, 5 April, 2009, 6:39 AM
Dear Shatru Lovely,
I totally am with your views. Yes, Such initiatives need to be started. But
starting a new initiative would require a lot of time and concentrated efforts.
but that doesnt mean we dont do anything. We could join in and support existing
organizations like Rahi, Muskaan, Tulir etc...
I have gone to schools and colleges that I am associated with closely. And if
one feels that speaking to a survivor of child sexual abuse will help the
cause. I am available.
I respect the fact that we do not share mobile numbers here. One could just
Google me/Visit my blog or visit my facebook profile for my mobile number.
Harish Iyer
www.MumbaiTerrorHel pline.Blogspot. com
www.wordlyworld. blogspot. com
--- On Fri, 3/4/09, shatru_lovely <shatru_lovely@ yahoo.in> wrote:
From: shatru_lovely <shatru_lovely@ yahoo.in>
Subject: g_b Harish's story and child abuse--A suggestion
To: gay_bom...@yahoogro ups.com
Date: Friday, 3 April, 2009, 8:34 PM
Like Harish, there may be many in this community who might have suffered from
child abuse in their early age of puberty.
My suggestion is, such victims should form a group and visit schools, colleges,
play ground etc. and educate students as to what is child abuse and how they
should fight against it. Let them know whom to approach in such cases, let the
child know that he is not alone.
May be some NGO is already working in the same direction I am not sure but the
efforts are not enough.
I have observed that either a child is not at all educated or is over
educated.. Both are dangerous.
Not only children's but parents also need to be educated. Following are some
instructions I found on one site.
Does your child know the meaning of sex abuse?
Did you know that one in three girls in the world is sexually abused before
reaching the age of eighteen, and one in four before the age of fourteen? In
the case of
boys, one in six is sexually abused before the age of sixteen. Quite shocking,
to say the least.
According to sociologist David Finkelhor, who has conducted a massive study on
child sexual abuse in over 19 countries besides the United Statesand Canada,
sex abuse percentages in most countries are comparable with North American
research figures. The overall percentages range from 7% to 36% for girls and 3%
to 29% for boys. Most of these studies found females to be abused at 1.5 to 3
times more than boys. We can clearly see that sexual abuse is an international
problem and not restricted to just a few countries in the world.
In fact, after countries like Philippines, Sri Lanka and Thailand, countries
like Nepal, India and Cambodia are facing an increasing number of paedophiles.
A research carried out by Sakshi, a New Delhi-based non-governmental
organization, says that 80% of Indian girls and women, belonging to all social
classes, experience sexual
abuse in their own families and friend circle. Majority of them prefer to
remain silent.
According to the State of Child Rights in India, incidences of child abuse are
definitely on the rise especially since the nineties..
It is quite shocking to know that
- 66% sexual offenders know their victims.
- 32% paedophiles have abused their own children.
- 49% paedophiles are attracted to unstable children.
WHAT EXACTLY IS CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE?
Child sexual abuse is any sexual contact between a child and another person
(from fondling to rape) with or without force. People who prefer sexual
activity with a child are known as 'paedophiles' .
It is important to remember that such offenders are completely 'responsible'
and guilty in the abuse, even if they have taken the consent of the minor
child. The consent of a child is not considered to be any consent at all.
It is imperative to note that family members or close neighbors or
frustrated fellow mates can manipulate children. Little wonder that one out of
every six abusers is a child. They can be homosexual or even heterosexual.
Paedophiles are usually male and could come from almost any socio-economic
background.
HOW TO PREPARE YOUR CHILD
1. Never scare a child about sexual abuse. Panic will beget panic. Your child
may get overcautious about people. This will also affect the child's everyday
vigour and spontaneity, which is the ultimate source of joy in a parent's life.
But of course, it is always better to be safe than sorry. Therefore, teach him
or her ground rules without injecting fear.
2. Teach your children the names of the different parts of the body. Take this
step further by specifying the private parts. Tell the child that these parts
should not be touched by anyone, not even close friends.
3. Your behaviour with your spouse can be a role model for the children.
Therefore, until your
children understand the importance of a healthy sexual relationship, do not
display overt affection to your partner in front of the children. If the
children ever touch your private parts, which most children playfully do in
their very early years, be firm and tell them not to ever repeat it. A correct
message should be conveyed with regard to the private parts.
4.. Tell them that they should immediately report to you if anyone (even if the
person is a very close relative) tries to touch them in any odd place,
especially if that person specifically asks them not to tell the parents.
5. Teach them not to talk to or to take anything from strangers, certainly not
to give out their name, address and telephone number to anyone. But do
emphasize the importance of being polite without divulging extra information.
6. Be a good listener. Your children must be sure of a patient hearing without
any embarrassing remarks. Make sure that you
share a completely open and friendly relationship with your children. Devote
some time everyday to listening to your children's experiences in school and
after-school hours.
7. Encourage your children to invite friends at home. Watch them discreetly
from a distance so that you are aware of their peer group. If you sense
something unhealthy, bring it to their notice. For instance, if a your daughter
is visibly falling on her boyfriend at a party, take her aside later and just
tell her that such things never go unnoticed. However, do not make a big issue
out of it.
8. Last but not the least; be vigilant for any signs of sexual abuse. Sudden
shifts in temperament, mood withdrawals, nightmares, bedwetting, bruising or
swelling of genitals, fear of a certain individual, loss of interest in
academic and social activities are all good indicators of sexual abuse.
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