Derek Almeida’s column Footlose in The Goan Everyday 22nd November 2015 -----
Jumping to conclusions The superintendent of police was enjoying a nightcap when the phone rang. On the other end was a nervy constable. “Sir the body of a very important activist in the community was discovered floating in a rivulet….” “It’s 10 in the night Tuemkar,” the SP said. He was irritated. “Couldn’t you have discovered it in the morning, after 10?” “Sir, this is a very urgent matter,” the nervy constable said. He sounded very nervy. “His supporters are here at the police station. They say he was murdered. What should I do? Should I start the investigation?” “What’s your gut feeling?” the SP asked. “Looks like drowning, but right now his supporters have threatened to bash me up on Facebook if I do not register the case as murder,” Tuemkar said. He was frightened. After much thought the SP said, “Tuemkar, this is a very big case. We can’t do this the old fashioned way. We need an out-of-the-box approach. I think we should call the Save Goa Samiti. Let them investigate the case.” “Who are these people sir,” the constable asked, “do they have any experience in investigations?” “The Save Goa Samiti is an NGO,” the SP said, “their strength is that they do not have any experience in investigation. They will jump to conclusions and save us the time required for a thorough probe.” “They might ruin the case sir,” the nervy constable said. “Arre baba, if we do not let them investigate, they will make life hell for us. They will take out candle-lit processions, call press conferences, petition the chief minister, hold morchas and what not,” the SP explained. So a call was made a representative of the Save Goa Samiti, a fellow by the name of Savio came on the line. “It is murder,” he yelled. “Good, good,” the SP replied, “I like people who make up their minds quickly, without even taking a look at the body.” Two days later the forensic experts sent in their report and Savio met the SP at the morgue. “The report says death was due to drowning,” the SP told him. “That is impossible,” Savio said, “I contacted all my friends and all of them confirm that it was murder….” “Were they present at the murder site?” the SP asked. “Is that important?” Savio asked, “we are conducting this investigation through Whatsapp, where we reinforce one another’s opinion and always arrive at the same conclusion that he was murdered. You must conduct a second autopsy.” A day later the second forensic report arrived and the SP called Savio. “The second autopsy report also says death was due to drowning. It also states that no injuries were noticed on the body.” “Have your forensic experts gone mad?” Savio yelled. “Can’t they understand that the man was murdered?” “It there are no injuries on the body and there is water in his lungs and the only witnesses to the incident said he went in the water for a swim and never came back, how was he murdered?” the SP asked. “How the hell should I know?” Savio yelled. “That is your job. And your job is to investigate the case and ensure that your conclusion is the same as ours.” “But there is no evidence of murder,” the SP shouted. “Then we’ll conduct a third autopsy,” Savio said, “and this time we will conduct it.” A day later Savio was at the SPs office. “Were your findings any different from that of the forensic experts?” the SP asked him. Savio gave him a sheepish look. “I couldn’t identify the body because I don’t know what the chap looks like.” “What now?” the SP asked. Despite this setback Savio was undeterred. “I have a demand,” he told the SP, “we will stop our candle-lit agitation only if the case is handed to an officer without a high conviction rate. He must be supervised by the human rights commission, which must be supervised by a high court judge, who must be supervised by a supreme court judge, who must be supervised by a judge from the international court of justice at The Hague ……” “That would be difficult,” the SP said, “Why don’t we just hand it over to the crime branch?” “I’ll settle for that,” said Savio, “because I am tired of molten wax dripping on my fingers.” =========