Cheers Dears By Augusto Pinto World Kama Sutra Day
Dears, I met my neighbour Pramod and he was in a jubilant mood. I said,"Kitem re? Won a lottery or what? No I am happy because I put my son Lalu in his place." I was curious so I asked,"Why? What was he up to? Not into drugs or anything like that I hope?" "What to tell you Gusto - do you know that he wanted to celebrate Valentine's Day!" "How nice," I said, "So does he have a sweetheart already?" He was shocked out of his skin and replied,"Sheeee Baba that is not in our Bharatiya Sanskruti, Gusto. This girlfriend - boyfriend baazi is all Western culture. In ancient India women enjoyed full respect, and honour and they were regarded as the better halves of the men they married. There used to have a swayamwara where they could choose their husbands. But there was none of this pub culture, boys and girls going out together unsupervised and all these shameful things were not done ... you know..." There was an awkward pause so I completed his thought by adding,"Petting and kissing and having sex, you mean?""Yes yes Gusto, and giving roses and presents to one other. Don't you think that all this is very disgusting?" Actually I thought that all this was part of the growing up experience, but I thought better than to tell Pramod about my views. I have enough enemies as it is, and if I started an argument on this matter, I was certain to add another one and it is a good thing to be on good terms with one's neighbours if not one's friends. "What did Lalu tell you that made you angry?" "Arre Gusto, he said he wanted to go to a Valentine's Eve Dance and that too with a Catholic girl. Would you have tolerated this?" I tried to hide my smile, and replied,"Of course not Pramod. But nowadays these youngsters can be pretty difficult to control. How did you convince him not to go?" "Convince? Huh! I told him that if he did not listen to me then no more was he going to stay in this house. I told him he would be out on the streets from now on." "I see Pramod, and what about this girl he wanted to take out? Do you know who she is by any chance?" "Oh yes. She's our neighbour - that Joao Inacio's daughter Jane. Fortunately she had a little sense, and said she also did not want to go out. So that ended the story. But the fellow has been sulking a lot of late." At this moment Lalu dropped in with this gorgeous looking female. Looking at me they both said,"Hello Uncle Gusto." I said,"Hello Lalu. Hello Jane. So how are things with you? And what are you up to nowadays?" Alluding to the protests against the Sri Ram Sene whose goons beat up some girls who were in a pub in Mangalore, Lalu replied,"Cool Uncle. We've just finished celebrating the Pink Chaddi day." I said,"What! Did you actually send out underwear to people?" Jane said,"Na Uncle, nowadays we don't actually physically do anything. It's all done on the computer over the Net." I did not want to ask how one could do this, what with Pramod present, as I could see his brown skin improbably but slowly changing colour to pink. Lalu said,"Now we're all getting set for World Kama Sutra Day." I could sense that Pramod's blood pressure was rising rapidly. He yelled,"What!!! What is World Kama Sutra Day?? What sort of immorality is this?" Both Lalu and Jane looked at him as if he was out of his mind. Jane said,"But Uncle, it's all Bharatiya culture. What's the problem, this time?" Before Pramod opened his mouth. I asked,"What will you be doing?" "Well we'll be having a Gopika show. That's when the girls dress up as gopikas and one of the guys will be Krishna and when they go to have a bath, He will steal the clothes." Lalu added,"And we're staging a play called Vastraharan which is about a story from the Mahabharat." Curious sounds were beginning to emanate from my good neighbour Pramod's throat. I thought it was unwise to listen to this conversation any longer. World Kama Sutra Day is scheduled to be held on 1st March. I wonder if there will be any protests from various Senas. Or whether Lalu will be thrown out of the house. Till next time then... Cheers (ENDS) ============================================================================== The above article appeared in the February 18, 2009 edition of the Herald, Goa
