That would be me. :-)
I think I am on the other end of the same journey as
the original poster. That is why that quote means so
much to me.
I have always been creative to the point of excess.
But having had an learning disability that I didn't
learn how to function with until I was nearly out of
school, it always held me back from what I really
wanted to do. Frankly, I didn't realise what it was
until these past couple of years. I knew it was to be
creative (I had plans on going into tech theatre
program ay Ryerson and working my wany into the
[Canadian] budding market of special effects makeup),
I had all the contacts and opportunities before me,
but I was engaged to someone much older than I when I
graduated highschool. He didn't want me to be hung up
in university, getting myself in debt, or being
anything that might have proven useful or profitable.
Frankly, he wanted a baby machine and house slave. His
exact words have been burned into my memory "You'll
never go anywhere with that, it's a waste of time. Why
don't you go for secretary or something?" This guy
said he loved me. Funny, that. It took him 3 years
after I broke up with him to realise his mistakes, and
by then it was too late. It was also too late for me
to pursue that avenue. Thus I ended up in business
accounting, which was ironic relative to my learning
disability dyscalculia- an inability to function with
numbers. It was that inability to function that held
me back from applying to university; my grades in math
were horrendous despite all my other grades being in
the upper 70-100. They would have thrown my
application out without even bothering to look deeper.
I had learned to function with this just fine my
senior year of highschool; I understand how my brain
works and I pick up numbers almost as fast as anyone
else.
All my skills have been the same from the beginning
but applied in lateral ways, thus not giving me the
satisfaction I have always been searching for. I have
never had a job that I loved so much that it got me
out of bed every morning. I did what I had to do to
get the bills paid. A friend had said to me that I
have put my time in (I am 35 years old and have held
18 jobs in my life, working since the age of 14 and
many times, held up to 3 of those jobs down at the
same time. I haven't worked for 6 years), the
opportunity exists to take a break from it - why not
grab it and enjoy life for a while? So I did. It put
me on a path that is only defining itself now.
I was for a while, devolving as a person during that
break. The powers-that-be said "nope, this is not
where you are supposed to be heading, we're gonna
throw something at you that will smarten you up and
put you back on you path." I had a child, who is also
further defining the person I am meant to be - and of
course, put me back on my path.
I have always sewn, drawn, sculpted... I prefer the
complex things because I like the challenge of putting
my skills to the test. Someone gave me a magazine and
a nightie pattern then said "you know, I am not really
into this french heirloom stuff. maybe you'll be into
it. Take this these." And I did. And it was good.
That spawned into Victorian costuming passion that has
produced a closet load of garments hanging in stasis.
Since the Vic reenactment is not a strong theme in
this region, that passion died bitterly in the cradle.
It also caused a long standing consternation between
my husband and I; he resents my passion for creating
beautiful things. But because I love it so much, I am
willing to go to war with him whenever I dig into
another project. He is the sort of reason for my other
quote in my sig. *He* may not appreciate what I do,
nor take it seriously or think it worthy, but dammit,
I know I am not the only one out there that shares the
love for beautiful things and how they are made.
Well, now I am being taken seriously by large
institutions regarding my current research. This
revived that dead ember of passion into something that
I have secure faith will go somewhere. My husband
thinks I should be paid vast amounts and awed
(*shudder* closer to feared for the insane things I
get myself into), but I know that there is more
passion than cash in this chosen field. But again, I
am willing to defend what I love enough to become the
person I am meant to be.
It's funny that everyone mentions that they put little
or no effort into what they wear every day. I too am
the same. I consider my every day clothes functional
necessities. I rarely if ever find a trend that works
for both my sense of style and body type, so, why put
the effort into it? But when I wear my kits... I am
thoroughly empowered. The repression mask comes off
and I am more the person I really am, perhaps in some
cases more magnified. But I have less regret and more
certainty while wearing something that makes me feel
like me. I am a bundle of nerves and quite uncertain
of myself any other day. I believe I was born many
years too late. :-)
Sorry for the prattle.
Kathy
> Someone in this group has the signature line "It's
> never too late to be
> the person you could have been" Amen to that!
Ermine, a lion rampant tail nowed gules charged on the shoulder with a rose Or
barbed, seeded, slipped and leaved vert
ItÂ’s never too late to be who you might have been.
-George Eliot
For every beauty there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth there is
an ear somewhere to hear it. For every love there is a heart somewhere to
receive it.
-Ivan Panin
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