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____________________________________ CHUCK MUTH’S NEWS & VIEWS March 13, 2004 To view the HTML version of today’s News & Views, just go to: http://www.chuckmuth.com/newsandviews/nv.cfm To subscribe, just go to: http://www.chuckmuth.com/newsletter/ To reach our 7-day News & Views archive, go to www.citizenoutreach.com _____________________________________ JUDGE ROY MOORE & THE OEDIPUS* AMENDMENT Q: “Do you support a constitutional amendment to prohibit gay marriage?” A: “I certainly understand that something needs to be done to stop mayors and judges and others who are disregarding the law. But I think the procedure to correct these problems lies within the Constitution itself, which doesn't need to be amended. You cannot correct every moral deficit created by the courts by constitutional amendment. If we make a constitutional amendment that says marriage is between a man and a woman, what stops a court from saying that means a man can marry his sister, thereby making incest legal? The problem is the courts.” - Former Alabama Judge Roy Moore in a New York Times interview, 3/7/04 (http://www.nytimes.com/2004/03/07/weekinreview/07kirk.html) LIVE AND LET LIVE (BURP!) “You don't need to read the latest report on higher and higher rates of life-threatening obesity to know that this country has a problem. . . . So what's to be done collectively? I have an idea: nothing. If people want to eat themselves into misery and early death, it really isn't anyone else's business.” - Columnist Andrew Sullivan PULLING THE PLUG ON JUNK-FOOD STAMPS “Minnesota is asking federal permission to bar people from using food stamps to buy candy bars, soda and other junk food,” reports the Associated Press. How long do you think it will take for a lawyer to file a lawsuit to prevent the government from preventing food stamp recipients from buying junk food which could put a dent in the number of people they could possibly recruit for a class-action lawsuit against junk food manufacturers? THE SPY WHO LOVED DEMOCRATS “It turns out the four members of Congress that (accused spy Susan Lindauer) worked for were all Democrats. She worked for some of them for a short time, and one says she doesn't remember her. Fine. But it's interesting how the media is not really reporting that she only worked for Democrats. The AP story initially reported that they were only ‘members of Congress.’ The party affiliation of those members wasn't mentioned. “There is, though, one newspaper out there (that) will name names, and that is The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. In today's AJC you'll see a headline which reads ‘Accused Spy is Cousin of Bush Staffer.’ Here we have someone who has worked for four congressional Democrats .. and ONLY congressional Democrats ... and our local leftist rag identifies her as the cousin of a Bush staffer. Anyone who doesn't believe the media is biased needs their head examined.” - Talk-show host Neal Boortz, 3/12/04 LOSING JOBS? THANK YOUR TEACHERS UNION “Although ‘new job creation is lagging badly’ for the moment, (Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan) said, the best way for Congress to help Americans get and keep good-paying jobs is to improve their math and technical skills so companies won’t be tempted to outsource to better-trained workers in China and India. . . . Congress needs to promote both the teaching of basics such as arithmetic, geometry and calculus, Mr. Greenspan said, as well as the abstract reasoning that workers will need to survive in a highly competitive job market.” - Washington Times, 3/12/04 _________________________________________ WINNING “HOW TO” CAMPAIGN REPORTS Quick, down-and-dirty "how to" reports on specific aspects of political campaigns and grassroots organizations. Written primarily for beginners with little or no experience, but certainly chocked full of tidbits and hot tips to benefit even the most seasoned political pro. Generally 8-16 pages of A-Z, step-by-step instructions to gain more votes, more money and more volunteers for your political activities and/or campaign. Don't expect fancy packaging with a lot of bells and whistles. Just solid, up-to-date how-to information you can put to use IMMEDIATELY. Go to http://chuckmuth.com/specialreports.htm to check out our ever-growing library of winning publications! __________________________________________ LET’S NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE AGAIN “Mr. Bush has shown that, unlike Bill Clinton, Al Gore or John Kerry, he is willing to take the battle to the enemy on the basis of military necessity, not temporize on the basis of legalistic whim or fatuous reliance on the United Nations. “For eight years, Mr. Clinton made no effective effort to counter numerous terrorist strikes against American lives and property, both here and abroad, or to rally the people to the danger at hand. Osama bin Laden has even intimated that September 11 was a direct result of Mr. Clinton's lackadaisical stewardship of the nation's security. “...If the Democrats persuade the public to adopt their priorities instead of Mr. Bush's, we will again test the truth of the adage that God takes care of fools, drunkards and the United States.” - Columnists William & Nancy Goldcamp COINCIDENCE? >From News & Views reader Peggy Thomas: *** QUOTE *** 57-- The number of varieties from Heinz 57-- The number of overseas plants of Heinz 57-- The number of stances John “Mr. Heinz” Kerry assumes on every issue Am I the only one who has noticed? *** UNQUOTE *** Not anymore, Peggy. “AUSTIN” sKERRY: INT’L MAN OF MYSTERY “Sen. John Kerry refuses to provide any information to support his assertion earlier this week that he has met with foreign leaders who beseeched him to prevail over President Bush in November's election. . . . Republicans have begun calling Mr. Kerry the ‘international man of mystery,’ and said his statements go even beyond those of former Vice President Al Gore, who was besieged by stories that he lied or exaggerated throughout the 2000 presidential campaign.” - Washington Times, 3/12/04 sKERRY’S FOREIGN SUPPORTERS “(A) few of (John) Kerry's mysterious ‘foreign leaders’ were outed this week... The first was Kim Jong Il, the North Korean dictator who boasts a coiffure not unlike Kerry's own and has rebroadcast Kerry's speeches on state-run radio across his Communist paradise. Another dictator, ousted Haitian President Jean Bertrand-Aristide (who Kerry said he would have kept in power) made his endorsement public. Additionally, there were accolades from terrorist Yasser Arafat, whom Kerry referred to as a ‘statesman’ and ‘role model’ in his 1997 book, The New War. Furthermore, to make the list of dictator endorsements (ousted and otherwise) complete, we expect Kerry to get the nod from Martha Stewart and Michael Eisner any day now. Saddam Hussein, meanwhile, was unavailable for comment.” - The Federalist, 3/12/04 BIRDS OF A LYING FEATHER... “Al Hubbard appeared with (John) Kerry in 1971 on NBC's ‘Meet the Press,’ was introduced as a former decorated Air Force captain who had spent two years in Vietnam and was wounded in the process. In reality, Mr. Hubbard had lied about his military rank and other issues, as later investigations revealed. . . . CBS News reporter William Overend, a writer for the network's anchorman Walter Cronkite in 1971, investigated Mr. Hubbard's war claims and discovered that there was no record of Mr. Hubbard having ever served in Vietnam. In addition, Mr. Hubbard was not shot down as he said and did not receive a Purple Heart for injuries suffered during battle.” - Greg Pierce’s “Inside Politics,” 3/12/04 FLIP-FLOPPING ON THE FLIP-FLOPPER “Of course, in the end, like a good liberal Democrat, Howard Dean went back on everything he said about John Kerry during the campaign and came calling at the Kerry headquarters to embrace the front-runner and ‘work closely with John Kerry to make sure we beat George Bush in November and turn our country around.’ . . . How interesting that in just a few short weeks, Howard Dean has now flip-flopped on the flip-flopper. Poor Deaniacs...they thought their guy was not like the others. . . . Looks like the Deanie babies were all taken for a ride. Oh well...there's always Ralph Nader.” - Talk-show host Neal Boortz * AN EVENING (WASTED) WITH TOM LEHRER For those of you who may have missed Sophocles in your publik skool education, or just found all that Greek a bit difficult to understand, here’s a simpler explanation of the tragedy of Oedipus - a king who unknowingly married his own mother and later gouged his eyes out when he discovered what he’d done - courtesy of the late great 1960s comic songwriter Tom Lehrer: >From the Bible to the popular song, There's one theme that we find right along. Of all ideals they hail as good, The most sublime is Motherhood. There was a man, oh, who it seems, Once carried this ideal to extremes. He loved his mother and she loved him, And yet his story is rather grim. There once lived a man named Oedipus Rex. You may have heard about his odd complex. His name appears in Freud's index 'Cause he loved his mother. His rivals used to say quite a bit, That as a monarch he was most unfit. But still in all they had to admit That he loved his mother. Yes he loved his mother like no other. His daughter was his sister and his son was his brother. One thing on which you can depend is, He sure knew who a boy's best friend is! When he found what he had done, He tore his eyes out one by one. A tragic end to a loyal son Who loved his mother. So be sweet and kind to Mother, Now and then have a chat. Buy her candy or some flowers or a brand new hat. But maybe you had better let it go at that! Or you may find yourself with a quite complex complex, And you may end up like Oedipus. I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus, Than end up like old Oedipus Rex. *** UNQUOTE *** Now, if you’re not familiar Tom Lehrer, you miss part of the fun because you don’t know the tune which goes with the lyrics. On the other hand, if you DO know Tom Lehrer, here’s a link to all the lyrics of all his old politically incorrect songs, including: National Brotherhood Week, New Math, Poisoning Pigeons in the Park, So Long Mom, The Masochism Tango and every altar boy’s favorite, The Vatican Rag. http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Oedipus-Rex-lyrics-Tom-Lehrer/EC79BE5CC40829F348256A7D00251CC4 __________________________________________ Chuck Muth’s News & Views is published by Citizen Outreach, a non-partisan, 501(c)3 non-profit corporation. The opinions and views expressed in Chuck Muth's News & Views reflect those of the writers, editors and columnists therein and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Citizen Outreach, its officers, directors or employees. 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