OH man, THANK YOU for the giggles.... I've needed these.
Rachel
>From: "Bowes, Chris" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Reply-To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
>To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
>Subject: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture
>Date: Tue, 14 Aug 2001 06:47:22 -0800
>
>UNCUT ORACLE-L
>----------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>Coming to theaters near you. Oracle-L, the UNCUT version is rated NC-17.
>
>Directed by Bruce.
>Produced by Jared Still.
>
>Starring:
>
>Lisa Koivu. Watch as she machetes a user who left his userid and password
>on a post-it on his PC allowing a rouge college intern to hack the system
>and destroy data.
>
>/Clip
>Lisa: "YOU'VE USED THAT PASSWORD FOR THE LAST TIME MISTER!!!!", User:
>"NOooooooooooooo!" Hack hack slice slice Lisa: "Now where's that
>intern..."
>/Clip
>
>Ross Mohan as her feisty sidekick. (envision Joe Pesci)
>/Clip
>"Nice Cutting Lisa. So l-user, is it funny now? Does she make you laugh?
>Like a clown? Looks like we'll have to rewrite that song. 'The ankle
>bone's connected to the spinal cord...'"
>/Clip
>
>Rachel Carmichel, as the goddess of manager destruction. Watch as she
>stuffs
>a chair down the throat of a manager for his really stupid ideas.
>
>/Clip
>Manager: "But Rachel, don't you think that we could eliminate that 450g
>worth of data and save a lot of money in training, dba costs and license
>fees if we converted everything to Excel Spreadsheets? Why are you looking
>at me like that? No, now put down that chair that could be an OHSA
>recordable. Open Wide? Oh, you silly. I've already had brunch with the
>steering committee. That's where this excellent excel idea came from. We
>can do this right? I figure 450 g isn't that much is it? All we have to
>do
>is get some PC's and a couple secretaries and... No, back away.
>Noooooooo." Stuff, cram, cram.
>/Clip
>
>Eric Pierce as Master Po giver of infinite knowledge.
>/Clip
>"Grasshopper. You will find all you need at these links."
>/Clip
>
>Director Jared Still, in a special appearance. He dispatches another
>developer for bad locking practices:
>/Clip
>"Six table locks? For a three table select? I asked for code and you
>bring
>me this. What have I done to deserve this disrespect. To the acid baths
>with him..."
>/Clip
>
>Christopher Bowes as the thoroughly confused rookie:
>/Clip:
>"HELP!... Am I an idiot? Well, no I don't think so. What's an idiot?
>RTFM? What's an RTFM? Read the what? What's a concepts manual. What's a
>concept? That's nice, but what is a database? I've got to build one for
>my
>boss today. I told him I would and my performance review is at 3pm... Is
>15 minutes enough time to build a 40 terabyte base? But I thought DBA's
>did
>nothing but get in the way of us developers... What's a tablespace?
>What's
>a table"
>/Clip
>
>
>Other special appearances by Steve Adams, Christopher Spence, Joe Testa and
>lots of others from the Oracle-L. See them all as you've never seen them
>before.
>
>See Oracle-L, the UNCUT version. Coming this fall.
>
>
>Sorry, folks, slow day...
>
_________________________________________________________________
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Author: Rachel Carmichael
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