Slightly exaggerated, imo. I seriously doubt I'd spend more than 3,500 $ in such an occasion. The last time I did that, I spent even less that that, and it took me just one day :-)
Dario ----- Original Message ----- From: "Tanya Mayer Photography" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Tuesday, March 23, 2004 11:50 PM Subject: RE: A QUICKIE Was: My own DOF confusion > hehe! > > Ok, here's another goodie... A bit long, but very appropriate to this > thread, IMO... > > Oil Change instructions for Women: > 1) Pull up to Ultra Tune after driving 10,000klms since the last oil > change. > 2) Drink a cup of coffee. > 3) 15 minutes later write a cheque and leave with a properly maintained > vehicle. > > Money Spent: Oil Change $55.00 Coffee $2.50 Total $57.50 > > > > Oil Change instructions for Men: > > > 1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, > filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, write a cheque for > $95.00. > 2) Stop by Liquorland and buy a case of beer, write a cheque for > $30.00, drive home. > 3) Open a beer and drink it. > 4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. > 5) Find jack stands under kid's pedal car. > 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. > 7) Place drain pan under engine. > 8) Look for 9/16 box end spanner. > 9) Give up and use pliers. > 10) Unscrew drain plug. > 11) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: ! splash hot oil on face and arms > in process. Swear. > 12) Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off face and arms. Throw > kitty litter on spilled oil. > 13) Have another beer while watching oil drain. > 14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench. > 15) Give up, crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter > and twist off. > 16) Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing > oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in > trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer. > 17) A mate shows up, finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil > change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work. > 18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag > pan full of old oil out from underneath car. Cleverly dump oil in hole in > back yard instead of taking it to recycle. > 19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. > 20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday. > 21) Walk to Liquorland buy beer. > 22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to > gasket surface. > 23) Dump first Litre of fresh oil into engine. > 24) Remember drain plug from step 11. > 25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan. > 26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back > yard along with drain plug. > 27) Drink beer. > 28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily > patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawn > mower fuel. > 29) Discover that first Litre of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw > kitty litter on oil spill. > 30) Drink beer. > 31) Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily > rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid pliers tightening drain plug > and bang knuckles on frame. > 32) Bang head on floorpan in reaction to step 31. > 33) Begin swearing fit. > 34) Throw stupid pliers. > 35) Swear for additional 10 minutes because pliers hit Miss August > (2002) > 36) Beer. > 37) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood > flow. > 38) Beer. > 39) Beer. > 40) Dump in five fresh litres of oil. > 41) Beer. > 42) Lower car from jack stands. > 43) Accidentally crush remaining case of new motor oil. > 44) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during > steps 23-43. > 45) Beer. > 46) Test drive car. > 47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. > 48) Car gets impounded. > 49) Call loving wife, make bail. > 50) 12 hours later, get car from impound yard. > > Money spent: Parts $95.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail > $1500.00 Beer $60.00 Total-- $4230.00 > > --You know the job was done and you know the job was done right
