Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-14 Thread flw

-Caveat Lector-

is there some conspiracy involved here - other than to induce people to
fear getting pierced?

  No. However one should be aware of the implications when
  hanging a 50 lb. anvil from one's privates.
  flw

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-14 Thread YnrChyldzWyld








  
  From: flw
  is there some conspiracy involved here - other than to induce 
  people tofear getting pierced?No. However one 
  should be aware of the implications whenhanging a 50 lb. anvil 
  from one's privates.
  Only if one were then to casually stroll across a junkyard where a 
  super electromagnet was being used... ;-)
  
  
  
  
  June
  
  Check out the nonstop beachparty at Alternative Kite Summer radio 
  at:
  http://www.live365.com/stations/250951
  





	
	
	
	
	
	
	




_IncrediMail - Email has finally 
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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-14 Thread Bill Howard

-Caveat Lector-

In a message dated 6/14/01 2:12:22 PM, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

 No. However one should be aware of the implications when


hanging a 50 lb. anvil from one's privates.




Only if one were then to casually stroll across a junkyard where a super

electromagnet was being used...   ;-) 

This would improve the gene pool.

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-13 Thread Adam Kowalczyk
-Caveat Lector-

is there some conspiracy involved here - other than to induce people to fear getting pierced?
Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-13 Thread c.



certainly makes me think twice about getting either 
of my kidneys pierced and that's f'sure but it makes a prince albert slightly 
more attractive...

  - Original Message - 
  From: 
  Adam 
  Kowalczyk 
  To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 
  Sent: Wednesday, June 13, 2001 6:15 
  PM
  Subject: Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen 
  Killed by Magnet...
  -Caveat Lector- 
  is there some conspiracy involved here - other than to induce people to 
  fear getting pierced?
  
  
  Get your FREE download of MSN Explorer at http://explorer.msn.com
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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread YnrChyldzWyld

-Caveat Lector-

If anyone seriously believes any of the stories, I have a bridge in
Brooklyn and some swampland in Florida I'm sure you'd be interested in
buying...  ;-)


June

Check out the nonstop beachparty at Alternative Kite Summer radio:
http://www.live365.com/stations/250951

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread Aleisha Saba

-Caveat Lector-

Steve - June has some Florida swamp land she would like to sell and a
bridge somewhere..thought you might be interested.

Saba

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread flw

-Caveat Lector-


 If anyone seriously believes any of the stories, I have a bridge in
 Brooklyn and some swampland in Florida I'm sure you'd be interested in
 buying...  ;-)

You are a fool. I happen to know the above story is true.

I am representing the alcoholic mother in a wrongful death suit.
The junk yard owner had prior notice that metal inserted teenagers
often used his junk yard as a shortcut and in spite of that knowledge
he insisted on using that dangerous supermagnet in their presence.
flw

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread Bill Howard

-Caveat Lector-

In a message dated 6/12/01 12:44:02 PM, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

 I am representing the alcoholic mother in a wrongful death suit.

The junk yard owner had prior notice that metal inserted teenagers

often used his junk yard as a shortcut and in spite of that knowledge

he insisted on using that dangerous supermagnet in their presence.

flw 

AAh, yes! Nobody is responsible for their actions. Everybody except the
people were are sueing are victims. Liberalism strikes again!

BHoward

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread Nessie

-Caveat Lector-

I am representing the alcoholic mother


Which court? What's the docket number?

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread William Shannon
In a message dated 6/12/01 2:44:02 PM Central Daylight Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED]
writes:


The junk yard owner had prior notice that metal inserted teenagers
often used his junk yard as a shortcut and in spite of that knowledge
he insisted on using that dangerous supermagnet in their presence.

It's not liberal or conservative to see that IF this is true, a BIG if, it's
a stupid case and a sad commentary.

Bill.


Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread c.



if it is true??? holey camoley... get a grip of 
yourselves...

"LABIA FALLS, IL-" 

"Heart, lungs, liverbut none of that stuff could possibly have left the 
kid'sbody-except that he had them all pierced." 

"COITUS, NJ"

"those who 
weren't laughing their asses off had to betaken in for psychological 
examination"

  - Original Message - 
  From: 
  William Shannon 
  
  To: [EMAIL PROTECTED] 
  Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2001 11:32 
  PM
  Subject: Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen 
  Killed by Magnet...
  In a message dated 6/12/01 2:44:02 PM Central Daylight 
  Time, [EMAIL PROTECTED] writes: 
  
  The junk yard owner had prior notice that metal inserted 
teenagers often used his junk yard as a shortcut and in spite of that 
knowledge he insisted on using that dangerous supermagnet in their 
presence.It's not liberal or conservative to see that IF this 
  is true, a BIG if, it's a stupid case and a sad commentary. 
  Bill. 


Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread Bob Stokes

-Caveat Lector-

In a message dated 6/12/01 12:17:22 AM Mountain Daylight Time,
[EMAIL PROTECTED] writes:

 Hell, anyone stupid to put over fourteen pounds of stainless
 steel under his skin deserves to die 
Stainless steel is not affected by magnets.  These are obviously someone's
poor attempt at humor.  This pumpkin site must be a wannabe onion site.

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread MIKE SPITZER

-Caveat Lector-

- Original Message -
From: flw [EMAIL PROTECTED]
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Sent: Tuesday, June 12, 2001 12:41 PM
Subject: Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...


-Caveat Lector-


 If anyone seriously believes any of the stories, I have a bridge in
 Brooklyn and some swampland in Florida I'm sure you'd be interested in
 buying...  ;-)

You are a fool. I happen to know the above story is true.

I am representing the alcoholic mother in a wrongful death suit.

Yeah, Riieeeght!   LOL!

Could you represent me in a wrongful death class action against the United
States?  I'd like to sue on behalf of all those who have died in battle for
this countryI, of course, as their executor/beneficiary of their
estates?

===
  Kadosh, Kadosh, Kadosh, YHVH, TZEVAOT

  FROM THE DESK OF:

*Michael Spitzer*[EMAIL PROTECTED]

The Best Way To Destroy Enemies Is To Change Them To Friends
===

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread flw

-Caveat Lector-

- Original Message -
From: Nessie [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Which court? What's the docket number?

Haven't filed yet. Mother is too drunk to sign the retainer.
She should be sober enough by Thurs.

BTW, the accident was much worse then reported.
The poor kid had a pierced tongue. It was ripped off by
the electromagnet and was stuck to the top of the magnet.
A crow landed on the magnet and swallowed it whole.
We have it all on tape - the junkyard security camera was
tuned in the whole time.

This case will be worth millions!!
flw

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Re: [CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-12 Thread flw

-Caveat Lector-

The junk yard owner had prior notice that metal inserted teenagers
often used his junk yard as a shortcut and in spite of that knowledge
he insisted on using that dangerous supermagnet in their presence.

It's not liberal or conservative to see that IF this is true, a BIG if, it's
a stupid case and a sad commentary.
Bill.

Easy for you to say. Wait till your poor pierced kid gets ripped
apart by an electromagnet. We'll see then whether or not you
think this a stupid case.

The sad thing is that not only was this kid a victim of the electromagnet -
he was a victim of his economic status. He came from a poor family on welfare.
He could only afford stainless steel piercings. If he could have afforded
gold piercing like the rich kids, he would still be alive today!

One of the purposes of this lawsuit is to compel the Federal Government to
provide magnetic free piercing metal for ALL KIDS. This is called
equal treatment under law. NO CHILD SHOULD BE LEFT BEHIND when
exposed to dangerous electromagnetic pulses and not ripped to pieces because
he/she is forced to endure cheap metal piercing.
flw

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[CTRL] Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet...

2001-06-11 Thread Steve Wingate

-Caveat Lector-

(The following post is R-rated. Leave now if offended by four letter words.)
http://pumpkinpress.alienservices.net/index.htm

Body Piercing Teen Killed by Magnet

By: Don Steiner

LABIA FALLS, IL-Tragedy struck the small blue-collar town of Labia Falls,
Illinois, when Quentin Horowitz, 17, was killed in a freak accident involving a
large industrial magnet, which attracted his piercings with such force that
they tore free from his body, in several cases taking vital organs with them.
He was a big dumbass, says Rachel Hale, a student at his high school.
He was into the whole Goth thing and wanted everyone to call him 'Agony.'
Personally, I'm glad he's dead. The state coroner reports that Horowitz
was cutting through the town's junkyard when the crane magnet was
powered up, killing him. We found lots of stuff on that magnet, he says.
Heart, lungs, liver…but none of that stuff could possibly have left the kid's
body-except that he had them all pierced. The boy's death has affected
almost everyone involved. I guess I should be upset or something, says
Joe Faraday, the magnetic crane operator responsible for Horowitz' death.
But I'm not. Hell, anyone stupid to put over fourteen pounds of stainless
steel under his skin deserves to die. Faraday, who has operated the crane
for as long as he can remember, will not be charged with a crime. The
boy's mother, whose blood at the time of the interview contained eight
times the legal limit of alcohol, has arranged to have her son's body
weighted down and thrown in the local creek. I ain't got money for a proper
funeral, she said this morning. And if I did, you can bet I wouldn't waste it
on that no-good son of mine, she added before collapsing on the floor of
her trailer home, comatose from alcohol poisoning. The boy's deadbeat
father, living with a small entourage of cocktail waitresses in a seedy Las
Vegas apartment, could not be reached for comment.

Birthday Clown Killed Lighting Flatulence

By: Don Steiner

COITUS, NJ- Local part-time birthday party clown Joe Esterhas was killed
yesterday in front of a large crowd of first-grade students during a trick
which involved igniting his own fart. It was horrible, said his assistant, Joe
Gareth, who asked not to be identified. He was doing his Ass Buster
routine, and suddenly, BOOM-he's a seven-foot column of flame. After a
short outburst of tears, he added, If you think about it-from an objective
point of view, you know-it was kind of funny. No students were injured in
the incident, although those who weren't laughing their asses off had to be
taken in for psychological examination.

Cupholder Manufacturer Under Fire From Congress

By: Justin Russo

WASHINGTON D.C.- Burnstone Cupholders Inc and Buick Inc. took a lot of
heat today for their manufacturing of faulty cupholders. The Senate cited
today that Burnstone knowingly manufactured under par cupholders, and
Buick knowingly placed them in there LeSabre cars (years 1992-2000)
which were the cause of many spillages in the past few months. It's a
horrible thought to know that these people are selling cupholders that may
cause us to spill some Pepsi on our crotch, said Senator Straum
Thurmund. The first incident occurred early last Novembers when Janice
McMahon, of Rhode Island, was in her brand new used 95 Buick Lesabre
at the drive thru at her local Wendy's. My kid and I ordered some fries and
two Biggie Dr. Peppers. [Upon receiving] our pops I went to place it in my
cupholder and the whole damn thing collapsed and got my son's pants all
wet. Janice filed a complaint at her Buick dealership, only to be sent a
letter in the mail with a fascimile coupon reading ONE FREE 'WHO
GIVES A DAMN' , redeemable at my ass. Joseph McMahon, her son, had
this to say, Ya know man, this is bullshit, I'ma 'bout ta step up on them
Buick muh's. The Rhode Island Buick Dealers Association declined
comment. The above incident was just the first of many, thus causing a
class action law suit brought against Burnstone and Buick. The person
seeking the most money from her damage is Lola Leira, of Illinois, who
ruined her Old Navy Techno Chino pants when she spilled a cup full of
blood on them. She seeks compensation in the amount of $26.95, for the
purchase of some new Techno Chino pants. Why she had a cup full of
blood in her car, is unknown. Burnstone itself has had to lay off workers due
to the overwhelming loss due to Buick pulling the cupholders from all of
their 2001 models. Elias Mann, a former janitor for Bridgestone Inc., had
this to say, Bridgestone can suck it. I got kids to feed you pricks. I hope
someone is going to take a real nasty shit, and who's gonna clean it up?
Not me fuckers. Elias Mann was one of 3 people laid off due to Buicks
cancellations. The other two Kevin Faust (former janitor) and Ellen
Hennings(former receptionist), both claim to be retired Burnstone CEO,
Jimmy O'Falloshallahan testified saying , Ay, who gives a crap? Just go
buy a new fucking