-Caveat Lector- I've received this three times in the last couple of days. Anyone get a similar one about Bushski? >A "Tongue in Cheek" Speech by our Vice President > >Good afternoon. I'm Al Gore, and I'd like to tell you >about myself. I know a lot about hardship, because I >came into this world as a poor black child in a tiny >town in the backwoods of Tennessee. I was born in a >log cabin that I built with my own hands. I taught >myself to read by candlelight and helped support my 16 >brothers and sisters by working summers as a deck hand >on a Mississippi River steamboat. > >My mother taught me the value of education, so every >day; I would walk 5 miles to a one room schoolhouse. >I was a mischievous, fun loving scamp, thought I never >dreamed that one day, my youthful escapades would >serve as the inspiration for "Huckleberry Finn." > >Back then, black folks in the South were second-class >citizens. One day, a traveling minister came through >town, and I asked him if anyone was ever going to do >something to guarantee civil rights for all Americans. > Well, I guess I made an impression. You see, the >minister's name was Martin Luther King, Jr. > >My father was a United States Senator. He once perched >me on his knee and said, "Son, if you work hard and >listen to your mama, someday you can live in a hotel >in Washington, DC, and go to an exclusive prep >school." But life of privilege was not for me. After >getting my high school diploma, I took a job in a hot, >dirty textile mill. I was so appalled at the >treatment of the workers there that I organized a >union. Later, that experience inspired a movie - >which is why, to this day, my close friends at the >AFL-CIO call me "Norma Rae." When word got out what an >18 year old factory worker had done, Harvard called >and offered me a scholarship. > >I captained the hockey team to four consecutive >national championships, but I also played football and >was good enough to win the Heisman Trophy. During my >college years, I lived in a housing project and >moonlighted playing lead guitar for a little rock >band. You may have heard of it: the Rolling Stones. > >But there was a war going on, and I felt I had to >serve my country. So I enlisted in the U. S. Army and >went to Vietnam. I was deeply opposed to the war, but >I did my duty as a soldier and came back home with the >Medal of Honor and the Croix de Guerre. When I got >back, I took a long journey across this great land of >ours. I've crossed the deserts bare, man, I've >breathed the mountain air, man, I've traveled, I've >done my share, man, I've been everywhere. > >And the people I met at truck stops and campgrounds >and homeless shelters on that journey all said the >same thing: "Al, we need you in Washington." I knew >they were right, but first I had to take care of some >other business---building the World Trade Center, >founding the Audubon Society, doing the clinical >research that proved smoking caused cancer, and coming >up with the recipe for Mrs. Field's chocolate chip >cookies. > >Finally, I deferred to the demands of the people of >Tennessee and allowed them to elect me to the House of >Representatives and the Senate, where I established >the US Strategic Oil Reserve. > >And then one winter day nearly nine years ago, for no >particular reason, I answered the call of the people >once again and took the oath of office as Vice >President of the United States. Since then, I've been >part of the most successful administration in American >history. And, in my spare time, I invented the >Internet. > >Many times Bill Clinton has been pondering some grave >decision and has asked me what to do. And when I >would give him my thoughts, he would invariable say, >"Of course. That's brilliant. Why didn't I think of >that?" During the darkest days of the impeachment >battle, the president told me he only wished he had >listened when I told him to stay away form that >dark-haired intern. > >So after I decided to run for president, I sat down >with him and asked if he had any suggestions about how >to conduct my campaign. And Bill Clinton gave me a >few simple words of advice --- words I'll never >forget. > >He looked me in the eye and he said, "Al, just tell >the truth, it's always worked for me." > <A HREF="http://www.ctrl.org/">www.ctrl.org</A> DECLARATION & DISCLAIMER ========== CTRL is a discussion & informational exchange list. 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