A sight for sore eyes My recent experience as a plague stricken outcast By Cecil Pinto
They say the Good Lord giveth and the Good Lord taketh away. Just last week I was celebrating that IFFI was in town. I had seen several good movies over the first three days and then, just as I was making my movie viewing schedule for the next day - Bang. What started as a little itching in my eye was overnight a full blown case of conjunctivitis. There are many references in the Holy Bible to people being struck by temporary blindness. If you don't obey God. (Deuteronomy 28:28) "The Lord shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart. And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways…" Or take how Saul (later Apostle Paul) when on the road to Damascus was struck blind for three whole days by the Lord (Acts 9:8). "And Saul arose from the earth; and when his eyes were opened, he saw no man: but they led him by the hand…" Of course later Saul learns the blindness trick and strikes Elymas the sorcerer (Acts 13:11). "And now behold, the hand of the Lord is upon thee: and thou shalt be blind, not seeing the sun for a time. And immediately there fell a mist and darkness upon him: and going about, he sought some one to lead him by the hand." In Psalms 69:23 we have, "Let their eyes be darkened, that they see not; and make their loins continually to shake." Genesis 19 is the most dramatic. The Sodomites want to have 'unnatural' sex with some of Lot's men who offers his virgin daughters instead for them to 'know'. But the Lord's Angels intervene and strike the Sodomites blind. Of course the interpretation of this particular passage, and its connection to homosexuality, has been debated so often that I would rather not touch that hot potato again. Suffice it to say the Biblical wrongdoers are often punished with temporary blindness. Now what was the wrongful act for which I got stuck with conjunctivitis three days into IFFI? Was it the ogling of the sexy young Pune FTII students? Was it my lustful watching of the lesbian scenes in the French movie "Oublier Cheyenne"? What did I do to displease God that he struck me blind temporarily? How much longer will I have to grope at noonday? Will my loins also shake continually? Where art thou Ananias? "Look me in the eye when you speak to me", I said to my son Desmond. But he cringed. Sore eyes, as it is known in Goa, is the modern equivalent of untouchability. Even the untouchables were looked down upon. If you have conjunctivitis nobody wants to even look at you, down or up, fearing it can be spread by eye contact. In Konkani we say 'dolle aille" which literally translates as "eyes have come". Go figure. Enlightenment might come. In the rest of the world it is referred to as 'pink eye', or sometimes as Madras Eye. The Madras etymology has never been explained but considering how the new name was Chen-eye there must be some strong ophthalmological connection to the city. Did you notice that many South Indian politicians (MGR and Karunanidhi for example) always wear dark shades even indoors? Maybe there's more to these sunshaded Madrasis than meets the sore eye. Lepers must know how I am feeling. Nobody wants contact with you unless it is over the phone or e-mail. In fact they don't want contact with anything that has been in contact with you either. I'm not sure if conjunctivitis can be spread by unprotected sex but that option too was withdrawn from day one – protected or otherwise. Who would want to make love to someone with swollen scarlet eyes? Similar to the common cold, everyone has their home remedy for Red Eye Reduction. The most common one told to me by friends (who I think are laughing behind my back!) is auto urine therapy. Well let me tell you it not as easy as it looks. The first time around I hit my nose. Had to wait a good few hours to try again. The second attempt was from a reclining position - and got my forehead. Coordinating aim and pressure is difficult when your vision is blurred. Finally let's examine instances of references to conjunctivitis in popular songs. In can see clearly now the pain has gone… "Lying Eyes" by Eagles You can't hide your crimson eyes And your glares are a thin disguise I thought by now you'd realize There ain't no way to hide your crimson eyes. "Everything I Do" by Bryan Adams Look into my eyes - you will see Anti-inflammatory …… Don't tell me it's not worth cryin' for You can't tell me it's not worth scratchin' for I've thought it thru All that I endure - Will happen to you "Blue Spanish Eyes" by Engelbert Humperdinck Red Bloodshot eyes, teardrops are falling from your Bloodshot eyes Please please don't cry, these are just eyedrops and not ointment Soon I'll return, bringing you separate pillowcases Please say "Sofa", cause that's where you're sleeping till you're cured "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor It's the eye of the monster, it's as ugly as hell Threatening to infect all others People sneer, people fear, people run away fast Nobody wants to be anywhere near - the eye of the monster Which makes me think, if Black Eyed Peas can be acceptable as name for a rock group what's wrong with Red Eyed Goan for a one-man band? Singing Eye Eye Yipee Yipee Eye, singing Eye Eye Yipee Yipee Eye. Singing Eye Eye Yipee Yipee Eye Eye Yipee Yipee Eye Eye Yipee Yipee Eye! --------------- The column above appeared in Gomantak Times dated 6th December 2007 ========
