They are guerrilla
commanders. Rubiela's face reveals deep traces of the indigenous. She is
dynamic, very strong. Sonia looks fragile, and her face is hard and stern.
She immediately expressed distance, distrust. Later on she became less
complicated and loosed her words; at the end she smiled. We talked of the
critical moments of life's decisions - the ones that define everything and
turn accumulated life experience around. I asked them why they joined the
guerrilla.
Rubiela had never seen the guerrilla. She explained: "One day I saw a
group of guerrilleros; they told us not to be afraid, that they were just
regular people, very simple people. What attracted me the most about them
was that they knew really good revolutionary songs. So I said: 'I'm going
to join the guerrilla.' That was about 14 years ago. I'm from Caquetá. My
parents are from Palmira, Valle.
Sonia had heard of or seen the guerrilla on TV; they awoke a certain
interest in her. She lost herself in her memories: "I went to meetings
they had, and then I studied why there was a need to join the guerrilla,
because of how women are exploited in Colombia, the need for rights we
women have coming to us..."
Rubiela joined the guerrilla when she was 17 years old. She confessed
that at that age she had never been out of her house. She was quiet,
"without much freedom... in the guerrilla you start to change your
behavior, so it's not hard to adapt... at the beginning you miss your
family, you think about it constantly. Then you start to create the idea
that no one has made you come and you made your own decision and so you
have to adapt. It's not a trick, no one tricked you in to coming; it was
you, so you come and keep up the struggle..."
For Sonia, joining the guerrilla was an abrupt change. "It's very
different as a civilian when you are free: you go wherever you want, you
come back when you want, you ask your parents for permission. Here
everything is different, even going to the bathroom or any other place -
you have to ask permission for everything. There is an internal order that
must be followed and it's for everyone, you start to butt heads, you know?
Because you can't go wherever you want when you want and come back when
you want, no, you have limited time and you have to follow the rules. From
the time you join they explain these norms to you and if you promise to
follow the norms and statutes that guide it, then you have to do it..."
Sonia explains that through studying and the knowledge she is acquiring in
the guerrilla, her "... consciousness is increased and you start to have
your own confidence in the fact that you can follow the rules. But it
always takes time. Another thing: you also have to leave your family,
everything you have, so it's hard to get used to that. After that you
acquire certain knowledge, so family is secondary in the guerrilla, you
know what I mean? Family becomes secondary and the movement is primary..."
I asked her to explain this radical change with the family: "because
here you have to carry out your tasks, first you have to fulfill the
missions they assign to you, then come your family commitments. You can't
say, every now and then, well, give me a pass so I can go home and see my
mamá, you can't. When conditions allow or require it, you request
permission, and if you have earned it for good behavior, then they grant
it." Sonia has been in the guerrilla for 11 years - "going on 12," she
clarified.
I asked: "Sonia, as a woman what was your experience when you joined
the guerrilla, in the midst of a world that, I suppose, is also very
machista, with so many guerrilleros. What change is there?"
"It's just that you encounter something different. What you say about
machismo doesn't exist here in the guerrilla, we are all equal, men and
women have the same rights and we all treat each other like brothers and
sisters in arms..." Sonia explained machismo in civilian life: "You have
to take orders and do what they tell you to do, if you get married then
you have to stay home, the man runs the house. You understand? Here no.
Here we all work for everyone..."
I insisted that in the guerrilla they also take orders: "We do take
some orders, but for our ideas and the cause we have committed ourselves
to, for the fight we are waging..."
Do you feel like a fulfilled woman in the guerrilla? "I do because you
have what you need, they give you what you want, you have your rights. If
you want to have a compañero, you get one, then in that sense you feel
fulfilled. Plus, you don't have to take orders from your compañero. In the
guerrilla love is secondary, the struggle is primary; first you have your
orders to obey, the material you have to study and studying itself, to
train yourself and be able to aspire to something..."
So you think that the woman in the guerrilla is a very free being?
Rubiela answered: "She is free in the sense that Sonia explained - if we
get a compañero we are not going to be subject to him or to what he wants,
like maybe he'd want us to wash his clothes. We might do it, but only if
we want, it's not an obligation..."
In the guerrilla Sonia is "...free to study, to educate myself in the
field that I want, politically and militarily. We are free within the
disciplinary structure of the guerrilla...." Sonia explained she is
educated in the politico-military area.
When you are the leader what is your role? What do you do as a leader?
"Well, when you are the leader you are an official of service. You have to
organize anything that has to do with the unit's daily routine. And if you
are a squadron commander, you are in charge of the squadron - What do the
people need? What has to be done?..."
Would you like to be a woman who climbs the military ladder? Rubiela
explained: "When I joined there was still machismo; they didn't want a
woman to lead them because they were men. Things are changing now for
women..."
I asked Sonia: What has your experience been? What have you learned?
What do you like about the guerrilla outside of all the seriousness? (They
both laughed). Sonia released some of the tension she felt at first: "In
the guerrilla it's important for us to learn. There is an article in the
regulations that says that guerrilleros need to be well-rounded people.
Well-rounded means knowing a little about everything, about all the arts
needed in the guerrilla. So I have been in the infirmery and did well; I
had a class in explosives and have set three or four mines, not more; and
the same goes for other activities. I like the military part of it too,
and I have participated in actions and done well..."
Sonia is part of the high command of Front 14. I asked her about her
concept of a leader. She went into detail: "the concept of commanding
troops has to include authority, the gift of leadership so you can guide
your people; you have to know how to lead - you have to know who you are
leading, and how to lead them, because the orders you give them must be
well-received, the ones who are going to obey them must receive them with
satisfaction. You have to know the troop's mood. We don't all have the
same mood, or the same character; some like to be led one way, some like
to be spoken to harshly. A commander must prepare herself, she has to keep
herself updated on all areas - on the national political situation, and
the international situation, so she can locate the troop. Because a
commander who has no knowledge then has no authority for leadership, nor
can she control her troop..."
I asked Sonia to explain how she manages this leadership authority
during military action. An impassioned spark flickers in her eyes: "on the
front lines with your unit, making a front, organizing it - deciding what
flank you have to cover, how you should organize your troops, how you are
going to advance on the enemy, how you are going to take a particular
post, or that particular flank you have to cover. This is how you get this
leadership authority. If a commander sends her troops into action and she
stays behind, then she loses leadership authority and has nothing to yell
at the troops about..."
Sonia talks about her leadership experience during the exercises in El
Billar: "we didn't have any military intelligence, we only knew the enemy
was in a certain place. I started to move my people, to circle the area
the army was in. Our troops advanced until we surrounded the army. There
were about 250, in the end we didn't even know. We annihilated the Third
Mobil Unit, very few got away. It was a day and night-time action; it
lasted 17 hours. It started at 4 PM and ended the next day around 2 PM..."
Rubiela talks about the fear you face in a military action. "You always
feel fear, because they didn't make pants for fear. But you are not alone,
you are with your other compañeros and they encourage you a lot..."
I asked Sonia about death: "I don't really have an opinion. It would be
hard to have an opinion about this because you don't know how death is
going to take you..." And when death comes to someone else because of you,
what do you think? "I think it would be a terrible failure if a compañero
died because of someone else..." And what if it's the enemy? "If we lower
our guard, they'll kill us, you know what I mean? If they aren't careful,
we kill them. Even though we know we are fighting against our own people.
That's why we prefer them to surrender instead of killing them..."
In the end both confided what they would do if the war is resolved
peacefully. Rubiela would like to continue her military career. Sonia
would like to return civilian life and become a politician to govern a
municipality or a department. They hug as they leave, then turn around and
are lost in their lean-tos.
