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************************************ Arrived Alive Whew! A cross-country trip with no vehicle problems. Unbelievable. The long and short: We've finished the move out of Nevada and have re-united all three dogs with the children under the roof of a real house with real furniture in Middle River, Maryland. It's good to be "home." We now return you to our regular programming.. ************************************ Telephone, Television & Tell-a-Friend If you know someone who might like to join the growing army of conservatives (and a few Palm Beach Democrats) who receive our FREE Chuck Muth's News & Views briefings, just go to http://www.chuckmuth.com. ************************************ Sniper Bait So I'm sitting on a park bench near the Capitol yesterday talking to a financial supporter to the American Conservative Union on my cell phone when it struck me that it probably wasn't exactly too bright to be sitting around out in the open with a sniper on the loose in the area. Then I remembered that Washington has some of the strictest gun-control laws in the country. And that made me feel a WHOLE lot safer. Surely that bad ol' sniper wouldn't venture into the District of Columbia and break any of those tough laws - thereby risking the wrath of Sarah Brady and Handgun Control - would he? And what a comfort to know that if the sniper DID pick off another innocent victim in the nation's capital, at least no one else around would also have a gun. I mean, what if someone saw the sniper and actually shot back? The sniper could get hurt. Can't have that, can we? I hope I'm not being too sarcastic. ************************************ Tax the Rich, Feed the Poor "Late last week, Democratic leaders told us just what they will do if the voters are wise enough to give them legislative control next month. The plan is simple: They will take money away from people who are unlikely to vote for Democrats and give that money to people who are more likely to vote for Democrats. Pure brilliance!" - Radio talk-show host Neal Boortz ************************************ Simple Enough "At a recent Pentagon briefing, a reporter was complaining that the Pentagon, as the only source of information, ran counter to standard journalistic practice of getting at least two sources. Rumsfeld gave the reporter one of those looks, smiled, and said, 'Then don't write the story. '" - Rich Galen, "Mullings," 11/14/02 ************************************ Landslide for Saddam "(A) Reuters dispatchthe 'Iraqi government' as 'basking in a 100 percent domestic approval rating for President Saddam Hussein.' And a New York Timesdescribes the 'vote' as 'a show of loyalty' This is like describing an armed-robbery victim handing his money over to the perpetrator as 'a show of generosity.'" - Best of the Web, 10/16/02 ************************************ Post-Florida Elections in Iraq My baby brother, Greg, who often is even more cynical and sarcastic than his older brother (if you can believe THAT), penned the following "report" on the recent Iraqi elections: (Voter walks up to polling table and is greeted by election judge) Judge: Thank you for showing up. We are glad we did not have to kill you and your family for being absent. We appreciate your taking part in our democratic vote. Here is your ballot, which we already filled out for you to avoid any mistakes like they had in Florida. Voter (looks at ballot): Wait a minute! Doesn't a democratic election mean I have a choice? Judge: Of course! You can vote for Saddam Hussein on Line A or for Saddam Hussein on Line B. But you get to choose which line you want. Voter: What about a write-in candidate? Can I do that? Judge: Of course you can write in a candidate! Again, we are trying to make democracy easier for you in order to avoid any election problems like in Florida, where there was confusion about what name went where. So we've even taken care of that for you too just in case you wanted to use that democratic option. (hands voter another ballot with Saddam Hussein's name written in the blank). Voter: Well, heck, what do you need me to vote for if Saddam Hussein is going to win anyway? Can't I just skip it? Judge: Oh no. If you skip it, we can not say we have fulfilled our promise for a 100% democratic election. And then we'd have to rape your wife, kill your goat and gas your village to show you how important democracy is. Voter: Has anyone refused to vote yet? Judge: No living Iraqi has been able to say "I did not vote for Saddam Hussein". Voter: Well, OK. Where do I turn in my ballot? Judge: You may turn in the ballot behind you, in the box underneath the video camera and next to the man with the rifle pointing at you. If you need help putting the ballot into the box, he can point out the hole in the box with his free hand which is not on the trigger. Then you may exit out the door to your left to take part in the planned 'spontaneous' demonstration exulting our democratic process and Saddam Hussein as the elected victor. Have a wonderful day. ********************************* Long Savings on Long Distance! Just 4.97 cents per minute (5.97 cents for some non-regional bell companies) * All state-to-state calls in the continental U.S. * Residential or commercial * 6-second billing increments after the first 18 seconds * 24 hours/day * 7 days/week * No access codes * No minimums * No activation fees * No monthly service charge unless your bill is less than $20.00 a month (then a $2.50 service charge will apply) * No need to change your local phone company * No hassles * Easy sign-up. *And a small portion of each bill goes to help continue publishing our FREE Chuck Muth's News & Views e-newsletter. go to <http://www.GOPLongDistance.com> today. ************************************ Pay Up, Whitey "Remember that 'anti'-racism conference in Barbados where delegates voted to kick out all white people? Now the Barbados Advocate reports that the group that sponsored the conference 'will be turning to the local white community to pay off its $200,000 debt': "'President of that organisation, the Congress Against Racism (Barbados) (CARB), Reverend Aaron 'Buddy' Larrier, contending that the amount is pocket change for any of the large local companies, indicated yesterday that white-owned businesses have an obligation to assist those in the black community because it is on those persons they depend for the survival of their businesses.'" - Best of the Web Today, 10/14/02 ************************************ Unrequited Love "(A)sk Connie Morella's spokesman about her support for the unions, and the answer is as swift as it is definitive. 'Absolutely,' says Jonathan Dean. The Maryland Republican "absolutely has been good to the unions.' But have the unions been good to Morella? "...Despite a strong and faithfully represented union constituency and a voting record that receives higher marks from the liberal Americans for Democratic Action (60 percent in 2000) than the American Conservative Union (29 percent), Morella hasn't received a dime from these unions (Teamsters & Carpenters), according to Federal Election Commission reports." - Sam Dealy, National Review, 10/11/02 ************************************ Big Mother Gummint "I doubt that any country, anywhere, has been so regulated, controlled, and directed as we are. We are bred to obey. And obey we do. "...Used to be if you wanted a dog, you got a dog. It wasn't really the government's business. Today you need a dog license, a shot card for the dog, a collar and tags, proof that the poor beast has been neutered, and you have to keep it on a leash and walk it only in designated places. It's all so we don't get rabies. "Or consider cars. You have to have a title, insurance, and keep it up to date; tags, country sticker, inspection sticker, emissions test. Depending where you are, you can't have chips in the windshield, and you need a zoned parking permit. You have to wear a seatbelt. And of course there are unending traffic laws. You can get a ticket for virtually anything, usually without knowing that you were doing anything wrong. "Nothing is too trivial to be regulated. Nothing is not some government's business. . . . For many it may be hard to remember freer times. Yet they existed. In 1964, when I graduated from high school in rural Virginia, there were speed limits, but nobody much enforced them, or much obeyed them. If you wanted to fish, you needed a pole, not a license. You fished where you wanted, not in designated fishing zones. If you wanted to carry your rifle to the bean field to shoot whistle pigs, you just did it. You didn't need a license and nobody got upset. "To buy a shotgun in the country store, you needed money, not a background check, waiting period, proof of age, certificate of training, and a registration form. If your tail light burned out, then you only had one tail light. If you wanted to park on a back road with your girl friend, the cops, all both of them, didn't care. If you wanted to swim in the creek, you didn' t need a Coast Guard approved life jacket." - Columnist Fred Reed ********************************* Conservative Books for Your Christmas List "When I Was a Kid, This Was a Free Country" - G. Gordon Liddy explains why you're not as free as you used to be - and what you can do about it. To order now, click here: <http://www.conservativebookservice.com/bookpage.asp?prod_cd=c6070&sour_cd=C ME005601> "Invasion" - * Michelle Malkin's book "Invasion" shows how and why every component of America's immigration system has failed. To order now, click here: <http://www.conservativebookservice.com/bookpage.asp?prod_cd=c6063&sour_cd=C ME005601> "Breakdown" - In Breakdown, America's premier national security reporter Bill Gertz reveals how, since the 1970s, liberals have ravaged the CIA and FBI until both were rendered incapable of effective clandestine operations. To order now, click here: <http://www.conservativebookservice.com/bookpage.asp?prod_cd=c6007&sour_cd=C ME005601> "Let Freedom Ring" - In Let Freedom Ring, Sean Hannity comes out swinging, showing how liberal ideas have made America more vulnerable and created confusion in our society about what is right and wrong. To order now, click here: <http://www.conservativebookservice.com/bookpage.asp?prod_cd=c6024&sour_cd=C ME005601> "Fighting Back" - From 9/11 to victory in Afghanistan...the dramatic inside story of how the Bush White House mobilized against terror. To order now, click here: <http://www.conservativebookservice.com/bookpage.asp?prod_cd=c6076&sour_cd=C ME005601> ********************************* In Your Heart You Know He's Right "I have little interest in streamlining government or in making it more efficient, for I mean to reduce its size. I do not undertake to promote welfare, for I propose to extend freedom. My aim is not to pass laws, but to repeal them. It is not to inaugurate new programs, but to cancel old ones that do violence to the Constitution, or that have failed in their purpose, or that impose on the people an unwarranted financial burden. I will not attempt to discover whether legislation is 'needed' before I have first determined whether it is constitutionally permissible. And if I should later be attacked for neglecting my constituents' interests, I shall reply that I was informed their main interest is liberty and that in that cause I am doing the very best I can." - Sen. Barry Goldwater (R-Ariz.), "The Conscience of a Conservative" Join the "next generation of Goldwater Conservatives" by joining the Goldwater Club. Annual dues for as little as $25. Just go to: http://www.chuckmuth.com/goldwater.htm ********************************* ********************************* Published by The Goldwater Club Chuck Muth, Editor/Publisher P.O. Box 19893 Alexandria, VA 22320 E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED] The opinions and views expressed in Chuck Muth's News & Views reflect those of the writers, editors and columnists therein and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the sponsors, advertisers ... heck, even some of our readers. To be REMOVED, go to: http://www.chuckmuth.com/newsletter/ and complete the removal request instructions you'll find there. Or send your request to [EMAIL PROTECTED] # # #
