Dear Ellen,
Basketball, like life, is what we make of what we have.
Our own CYO experience started out badly; our son didn't make the JV
team.
I would not accept that 10 year-olds get "cut", and since I could (and
should) NOT force a VOLUNTEER to coach more than his (or her) desired
complement of up to 15 kids...
... I made the choice to become a volunteer.
In the long run, it was easier and more rewarding than either anger or
complaint.
And the result was thirty kids playing ball (versus just 15).
The $30 CYO Dollar fee does not begin to cover the expenses of
Maintaining a gym
Paying heat and electric bills thereon
Insuring the kids and school.
Acquiring the "Good Will" of sufficient VOLUNTEERS to run practices and
programs.
Providing the use of Uniforms.
Buying Trophies
Your experience may not have been what you expected or desired, but your
daughter will get a trophy and probably got more than $30.00 worth of
after-school supervision.
Most of my team had families that paid there own way.
I realized that two kids wouldn't be able to get the money, without
hardship, and I found generous neighbors who picked up the cost. No one
made me do it.
I asked and a few neighbors stepped up to the plate.
Some of what I did is unusual.
I had some kids who didn't know a basketball was round.
I felt those kids needed their own balls to practice dribbling at home.
To avoid favoritism, I made sure every kid got a Ball.
One kid lost a ball. With permission of his mother, I put him to work to
earn the cost of a replacement.
This may not be normal, but I could and did manage it for my team.
It may even be an error, but it was done in good faith and with private
donation.
Youth basketball would not have been on our Radar Screen if our own kid
had not been cut.
My husband works below Newark Delaware, a 42 mile commute each way.
He was not available for practices, but his support enabled me to change
priorities for a few months.
Many of my parents, especially Keith Russell who helped me run drills for
the first 45 minutes of every practice, made incredible sacrifices to
insure the success of the kids.
Neither his son nor mine were "starters". We choose the best from the
week's practice.
Two slow starters improved rapidly. Ji-Chang Ni and Karume Dunkley were
brilliant learners and our first two MIP's.
My team parents could have complained about my lack of Basketball (or
even people) skills.
I have one kid who is so good, I have made him promise that if he makes
the NBA he will announce that one of his first coaches was a "fat, fair
and 40+, female CYO volunteer"... I do this partly to encourage
volunteering, partly because it tickles me and partly from the sheer joy
of anticipating where this kid can go and who he can influence, for good,
with his talent.
Instead of pointing out my faults, my parents chose to fill in the gaps.
They kept their kids healthy and motivated, picked them up on time and
cheered at our games.
These parents made the right choice for our "B" team situation.
I might have quit if I faced a room full of complaining parents (even if
the complaints were valid).
Instead, I got compliments and support and saw HUGE leaps in the skills
levels of the kids.
It makes me want to do it again.
The result, we all win!
Basketball is a short season.
The Championships take place in February.
My own team is winding down.
My kids are grateful and capable.
I am requiring they give something back to the school, during the 40 days
of Lent, through an Intramural Scholar-Athlete initiative.
I would love to get some girls involved, but...
... to include more kids, I will need volunteers.
Your life sounds pretty full, but maybe you have a friend or sister who
can stand-in for you.
Let's recognize that the people you mentioned are volunteers and let's
move toward solutions to your specific problem off list, so be careful of
the cc's. Eric and Angie are people who volunteered countless hours to
help our Katie succeed at SFDS, and they have also helped provide a good
track experience for our Michael. I don't know Jeff, but imagine he is
generally a good guy.
The CYO rules state that every child must play in every game.
"Coach" Emily made sure every boy had game time.
We lost games, but had a good time.
You have a valid complaint if your child was not played.
Many volunteers are driven by ego, especially in sports.
But, I got a lot of perks from playing hard and fair.
Sports opened many doors for me in High School and College.
I owe a lot to volunteers and I figure the best way to pay the debt is to
pass the gifts of time and talent along.
So whether you want to pursue complaint or a better future, please reply
off-list and I'll give you names and phone numbers that were useful in my
pursuit of a good CYO experience.
All the best!
Liz
On Mon, 04 Feb 2002 13:38:16 -0500 Ellen Tarasca <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
writes:
> I am thrilled that Basketball was such a wonderful experience for
> both you
> and your son as well as the other boys, unfortunately I nor my
> daughter or
> many other parents and children did not have the same wonderful
> experience
> with the girls JV team! I paid the $30 promptly in anticipation of
> my
> daughters first year playing basketball for SFDS. I never knew more
> than
> two days in advance when a game was; the team would find out the
> weekends
> scheduled game(s) after each Wednesday's practice. The last two
> games were
> coached by the Asst., apparently the Coach was never informed of
> either
> game. During both these games only 6 girls on the team even had a
> chance
> to play. The Asst. coach explained that it was her interest to WIN.
> She
> told the girls this, even after many of them cried due to them not
> even
> having an opportunity to play either game. Her main goal was that
> she had
> to win; Since she was coaching both those games and the Coach had
> never won
> a game yet! She was solely concerned on how she looked! I am a
> single
> parent, working a FT and a PT job, I did not have anyone to sponsor
> my
> child, I paid the money myself! On Monday the 28th of January,
> there were
> parents that were very upset and were told that the situation would
> be
> rectified. Practices would be better and the games would include
> all the
> girls...all the girls needs to know they are a winner and are part
> of the
> team! Following the next practice on Wednesday the 30th, my
> daughter
> informed me that there would be no more practices and no more games.
> I am
> extremely upset by the whole situation and how it has been handled
> by Coach
> Eric, Coach Jeff and assistant Coach Angie! Maybe you can offer some
>
> suggestions on who it is that I would need to contact to voice my
> complaints and concerns. I would greatly appreciate any assistance
> you can
> offer in this matter! Thank you!
>
> Ellen Tarasca
>
>
> Ellen Tarasca
> Administrative Assistant to the Dean's Office
> The School of Veterinary Medicine
> University of Pennsylvania
> 3800 Spruce Street
> Philadelphia, PA 19104-6044
> (P) 215-898-0600
> (F) 215-573-8837
> E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
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