The bare bones of Hima love making
By Mzee FDR Gureme
After a gruelling period of remorse and incense I have decided to add my voice to the on-going debate on Bahima and sex, led by a one Rukoroboza Rwa Mayuya (obviously a pseudonym) in his article, Bahima Women Can Do It On The Roadside (The Monitor March 28).
An angry and irate Pecos has already gainsaid on the subject in Talking 'Gas' Like the Bairu, (The Monitor April 6) and columnist Mary Karooro has roundly justifiably condemned it as a monstrosity, a consummate betrayer of ignorance, and lack of imagination.
A few facts for starters.
I am a Muhima, and bred as such. Euphemism, where sexual parts are concerned, was alien to the Ankole culture before the advent of exotic faiths. We called all parts of the body by their anatomical names. I have decided to go native in order to - shame this impostor, Rukoroboza. I shall be brutally frank, and fairly detailed - Rukoroboza knows next to nothing about the subject he broached.
Here is why.
Preliminary Love Play: We regard and treat copulation as one of the most sublime correlations between man and woman - and the first flaw in Rukoroboza's argument is to allege, "Among the Bahima there isn't much negotiation, once she has seen a nice looking guy, then a game is offered.... without much ado."
This is inverted imagination, and a freakish betrayal of venereal illiteracy on the part of a person who claims to have enjoyed Bahima sex. Bahima lovers go through the most romantically elaborate ceremonials before they even get close to coitus.
Indeed good looks, on which Rukoroboza bases his uninformed judgement, is a set-back. Any decent woman who fell for you, would be at pains to impress you with her 'indifference' in order to make you fonder. Thus good lookers need great patience.
Among the well-bred Bahima - which all are or pretend to be - it is considered loose for a woman to career to bed even with a regular lover or spouse. There are preludes which lead to a decent and satisfying union. Even after consent, there are the final preparations including the herbal cosmetics which may consume deliberately long minutes. Just before this, there is generally the prolonged "struggle" to kiss her; and okukora ahakiinyi consisting of forcing your hand between her thighs, and fondling her womanhood, as she wriggles to thwart your efforts. (Incidentally, the Bahima are the only Ugandan race, to my knowledge, to whom tongue kissing is native).
However, it is possible that, after all this, you may be told to try again the next day.
Thus, with such procedures Rukoroboza - the self-confessed "Virgin at 18" - is likely to end up spewing the semen before ever the imaginary Muhima girl thinks of shedding her shoes!
The Sublime Process of Copulation: We do not sprawl atop a woman. That is a novice pose - prologue to the humdrum, pumping and taxing "style," which hardly lasts five minutes.
We lie on our side - face to face. When she accepts you, you place your left buttock lightly on her right thigh, propped by your own elbow. Her left thigh is raised. You hold your manhood midway, and with it gently tap on her womanhood. As you do this, hot jets of fluids may splash up to your breast.
Couples may use water-proof beddings or simply resort to the floor with odd bits of clothing and towels. Thus a moist birth canal is a precious female asset and herbs are sometimes used to induce it.
In the sitting position, her legs go over her lover's hips to rest behind his buttocks. He has more room for the c---l play. The tempo is raised or lowered according to their prolongation intentions - which may be anything up to 30 minutes or longer, of ecstatic bliss. Then it is time for the "adjournment", if you like.
He may increase and sustain the tempo, as he softly praise names her by all that is dear and sacred to him; while she moans her responses through blissful "sobs," often punctuated by passionate kisses.
They now "see" it coming so that, at the right moment, the man buries himself into her, both embracing and climaxing in a near trance.
Given time, they may repeat this act after a short demurral. Gentle and silky, this style knows no age or ill health.
Obscene stuff? No fear. As best-man to be, I listened to a bishop, in his pre-wedding instructions, guiding my charge along similar candid lines. Sir Apollo Kaggwa, in one of his finer publications, described, in more graphic detail the Kiganda love play early this century.
However, I have been around a while, and am fairly well-trekked and well practiced. I know no more satisfying (not to say scientific) method than this Bahima's elaborate and graceful sexual fulfilment.
True, perverts may do it behind a bush. But, let "expert" Rukoroboza tell us how a woman may conceal this motion picture under her skirts, at a bus stage, however remote!
Brothers' Encouragement? Rukoroboza alleges that "brothers... with beautiful sisters..." will encourage guest friends to use them.
Preposterous! Listen. We may punish or expel an adulterous wife. We shall certainly whip you if you hint that you want to sleep with the sisters, aunties or mothers. The boy/girlfriend concept is culturally disgusting. Thus Rukoroboza's notion of parents of girls countenancing it is as scandalous as it is benighted.
Like Karooro, I believe Rukoroboza is just the same coward who cravenly flinched from signing his stories. This after insulting western women by asserting that they will not say "No"!
Lunch during Fieldwork: Like Mary Karooro, I am amused by Rukoroboza's fancy that herdsboys expect lunch.
Whoever heard of real herdsmen carrying flasks, or expecting coquettish wenches to carry lunch to the grazing fields?
Yes, they have a handsome quantity of milk for breakfast, pending dinner of the same stuff. Any thing in between is unthinkable, my dear Rukoroboza.
Language: Official Runyankole (Bible diction) is the Kashari-Nyabushozi dialect (c.f. Queen's English). For a man who hobnobs with Bahima to talk of "ogwe" (which means `that person') instead of "ogwo," is the ultimate betrayal of his flimsy interaction with Bahima.
Rukoroboza, you are not only an incompetent liar. You are a magniloquent, and prize-winning punchnello. You obviously are a clumsy lover; you need a good lecture
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