THE UNBEARABLE UBU ( AN OPTIONALLY DURATIONAL PLAY IN ONE ACT ) DURATION: CAN LAST SECONDS, MINUTES, HOURS, DAYS. SETTING: ANY FLAT SURFACE WITH OR WITHOUT A 3X3 PIECE OF ARTIFICIAL LAWN TURK - PREFERABLY WITH AND VERY GREEN PROPS: 1 12 OR 15 FOOT LADDER OR AS TALL AS SETTING PERMITS- ANY MATERIAL THOUGH WOOD IS PREFERABLY TO GO WITH THE GREEN ASTRO-TURF SHOULD THERE BE ANY..GIVES THE EFFECT OF A FOREST? CAST: 2 MALES PLUS and MINUS BASICALLY NAKED..THOUGH THE CHARACTER PLUS WHO IS STATIONED AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER WEARS A KINGS ROBE WITH, IF POSSIBLE A FUR COLLAR, AND A CROWN HOLDING A GOLDEN SCEPTER. HE ALSO WEARS A PAIR OF GOLD OR PURPLE VELVET SLIPPERS THAT CURL UPWARD AT THE TOES DRAMATICALLY. HE IS NAKED UNDERNEATH AND SPORTS A HUGH ERECTION. THE SECOND CHARACTER MINUS IS TOTALLY NAKED. CURTAIN UP ( IF THERE IS ONE ) LIGHTS COME UP SLOWLY AS A SUNRISE WOULD. MINUS IS KNEELING AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LADDER ON ONE KNEE LOOKING UP TOWARD THE TOP WHERE PLUS SITS. HIS PENIS THO POSSIBLY HIDDEN BY HIS BODY IS SMALL, LIMP. MINUS: master MASTER master ( THIS GOES ON AWHILE LIKE A CHANT) MINUS: MAHHHHSTER MAHHHHHHSTER FINALLY A BIT SLOWLY HESITANTLY RISES PLUS ALSO STARTS TO RISE UP AT THE TOP OF THE LADDER MINUS : MAHHHHSTER MAHHHHSTER ( PUTTING ONE FOOT ON THE FIRST RUNG OF THE LADDER ) BEGINS SLOWLY TO CLIMB THE LADDER RUNG BY RUNG CHANTING MAHHHSTER OVER AND OVER AGAIN UP EACH RUNG WHILE AT THE SAME TIME PLUS RISES AND STARTS CLIMBING DOWN THE LADDER CHANTING ALMOST IMPERCEPTIBLY MAHHHSTER OVER AND OVER AS WELL. AT SOME POINT THEY BOTH START CHANTING DISSECTED VERSIONS OF MASTER MASTER UNTIL THEIR VOICES MERGE. AT ONE POINT THEY DISSECT EACHOTHER ABOUT I/2 WAY UP/DOWN THE LADDER. HERE MINUS TAKES AND/OR PLUS GIVES TO MINUS ROBE, SLIPPERS SCEPTER, CROWN AND FINALLY ERECTION. AS THEY PASS EACHOTHER MINUS FALLS SIELNT, NOW IN FULL REAGALIA REACHES THE TOP OF THE LADDER POSITIONS HIMSELF THE WAY PLUS HAD BEEN ( SITTING MOST LIKELY. ) PLUS CONTINUES TO CHANT UNTIL HE REACHES BOTTOM AND ASSUMES POSE MINUS HAD AT BEGINNING. WITH MINUS NOW AT THE TOP. THE PIECE SHOULD BE CHOREOGRAPHED SO THAT TIMING IS IMPECCABLE. WHEN THE SWITCH IS COMPLETED LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE LIKE SUNSET UNTIL STAGE IS DARKNESS. CURTAIN IF THERE IS ONE. FIN.
STEVE DALACHINSKY NYC
