[EMAIL PROTECTED] wrote:
> "It's been proven in history
> no matter what I do or what I become
> I'll always be J.A.N in this country....
> AMERIKA
> (This planet's greatest thief)
> signed - Just Another Nigga"
Reading this reminded me of something that just happened yesterday:
Kenny Larkin got pulled over by the cops in Beverly Hills for no reason.
(Just hours before his comedy showcase at the Laugh Factory!!!)
I'll let Kenny pick up the tale from here (apologies to those on Friendster):
"I'm on Santa Monica Boulevard in a brand new white Mercedes Benz CLK 320,
that my friend let me keep for a week while she's out of town. I've driven
this route almost every day in my own cars (BMW, Porsche), and never had a
problem. But, guess what happens? I get pulled over by the Beverly Hills
Police!!
I'm shocked because I wasn't speeding, traffic is heavy, my seatbelt is on,
blah, blah... The cop approaches the car and says, "Your driving is fine,
but I don't know about the registration. Can I see a copy of your insurance,
registration, and driver's license?" I say, "Well, this isn't my car.
A friend let me borrow it for the week. She didn't leave her registration,
or insurance with me. Oh, here it is, and here is my license." Now, mind
you, I'm wearing sweaty, workout clothes. I have on a black skull cap, and
I'm totally unshaven. To him, I'm lookin' like, well... you get the picture.
He goes back to his bike to check everything, while I'm chillin' in the car.
Ten minutes go by, and I look in my rear view mirror to see what's taking so
long. When I look up again, I see this paddy wagon pull up behind me!!! The
other cop gets out, confers with his colleague for another 10 minutes. I'm
thinking, what's going on? So, finally the dude walks back to the car and
says, ``What's your social security number?'', I said ``Why?'' He says,
``Your driving privledges are suspended in the State of California. You have
a warrant out for your arrest from San Bernadino county stemming from an
unpaid speeding ticket you received last year. They sent you a notice to
appear, and you didn't, so..... Step out of the car, place your hands behind
your head.'' I almost passed out on the spot!!!
Boy, I wish there was someone there taking a picture, just so I could see the
look on my face when that cop put those handcuffs on me in front of full-on
rush hour traffic. For those who don't know me, I am the squarest man you
will ever know. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. But, here I
am in the back of a paddy wagon about to go to jail, on the biggest nite of
my comedy career!! Who did I screw over in my previous life?? I'm sitting
in the back of the paddy wagon, while they search my friend's car, and I'm
hoping she doesn't have anything in her car that might "complicate" matters,
but they find nothing. So, they take me to JAIL, and book me, fingerprint me,
take mug shots, put me in prison overalls, the whole nine... I'm in shock by
this time, because I learn that if I don't make bail ($5,000 cash), I will be
staying with them for 2 days, and then transported up to San Bernadino to
their jail, until my court date. ``What! But I have a show in 3 hours!''
``Not if you don't make bail buddy.'' So, I had to call my parents, who both
flew in from Alabama, and Michigan to see their son perform at this world
famous comedy club, to bail me out of jail."
A year ago, the same thing happened to me. I got pulled over for speeding
and, it turned out, due to an unpaid parking ticket in SF (!) from years
ago, I'd actually had my license suspended (and didn't know about it, 'cos
they sent it to my previous address and the forwarding had long since expired)
and I, too, had a warrant for my arrest.
Did I get carted off to jail? Did I get fingerprinted, mug shot'ed, put
in prison overalls like Kenny Larkin did?
No. I got sent home on my own recognizance.
I'm disgusted at what happened to Kenny. Only in Amerika.
- Greg (J.[ust] A.[nother] [P.rivileged] W.[hiteboy])
