> THE BEST RESIGNATION LETTER EVER
>
> Actual letter of resignation from a PINOY
> (Filipino) employee at
> Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss, who
> apparently resigned very soon
> afterwards!
>
> Lesson: Don't mess up with your systems
> administrator....
>
> Dear Mr. Baker,
>
> As a graduate of an institution of higher
> education, I have a few very basic expectations.
> Chief among these is that my direct superiors
> have an intellect that ranges above the common
> ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying
> harassment of my coworkers and me during the
> commission of our duties, I can only surmise that
> you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our
> time.
>
> Asking me, a network administrator, to explain
> every little nuance of everything I do each time you
> happen to stroll into my office is not
> only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious
> oxygen. I was hired because I know how to
> network
> computer systems, and you were apparently hired
> to provide amusement to myself and other
> employees, who watch you vainly attempt to
> understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the
> hundredth time. You will never understand
> computers.
>
> Something as incredibly simple as binary still
> gives
> you too many options. You will also never
> understand why people hate you, but I am going to
> try and explain it to you, even though I am sure
> this
> will be just as effective as telling you what an IP
> is.
> Your shiny new iMac has more
> personality than you ever will.
>
> You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly
> looking for fault in others. You have a sharp
> dressed useless look about you that may have
> worked for your interview, but now that you actually
> have responsibility,you pawn it off on overworked
> staff, hoping their talent will cover
> for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial
> evolution, you are the blue-green algae that
> everyone else eats and laughs at.
> Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert
> principle. Since this situation is unlikely to
> change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy
> reversal, I am forced to
> tender my resignation, however I have a few
> parting thoughts.
>
> 1. When someone calls you in reference to
> employment, it is illegal for
> you to give me a bad recommendation. The most
> you can say to hurt me is
> "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends
> randomly call you over the next couple of years to
> keep you honest, because I know you would be
> unable to do it on your own.
>
> 2. I have all the passwords to every account on
> the system, and I know every password you have
> used for the last five years. If you decide
> to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites
> list", which I conveniently saved when you made
> me
> "back up" your useless files. I do believe
> that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed
> favorably by the administration.
>
> 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take
> pictures of your Mother's
> birthday," you neglected to mention that you were
> going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror
> nude.
> Then you forgot to erase them like
> the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I
> have never seen such odd acts with a sauce
> bottle,
> but I assure you that those have been copied and
> kept in safe places pending the authoring of a
> glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a
> spell check please; I hate having to
> correct your mistakes.)
>
> Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of
> recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am
> tomorrow. One word of this to
> anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant
> obsessions will be open to the public. Never
> f***with your systems administrator. Why?
> Because
> they know what you do with all that free time!
>
> Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
> Cecilia
>
> __________________________________________________
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