Subrammani sir, I wish you prepare a questionnaire for unmarried men and women also so as to understand their expectations from wife, marriage, family relationship and of course, love and romance.
-- G. Vamshi PH Res : +91 877-2243861 Mobile: +91 9949349497 E-mail ID: gvamsh...@gmail.com Skype: gvamshi81 God helps those who help themselves On 3/18/10, Subramani L <lsubram...@deccanherald.co.in> wrote: > Folks: > > Most of us read a lot of romantic literature (in the context of men-women > relationship) and either dismiss it as idealistic and far removed from > reality or expect it to happen in real life. After having read a lot of such > fiction myself (especially in recent times), I wanted to understand how > romance is working for disabled persons who are married to able-bodied > spouses. Though in fiction the male personality is often portrayed as good > looking, fair, lean bodied, loving and generous to marry a disabled woman, > that could be quite different in real life. To our chagrin, we the blind men > realise that we are quite opposite of those fictional heroes (forgive me for > my bluntness) and have a disability to boot. This gave rise to an idea for > an article which I have been thinking over for some time. The following > questionnaire is the result of my effort to collect information for the > article. I would lideally expect men who are over 30 and have been married > for more than five years and their wives to answer the questionnaire, though > I would admit answers from anyone who doesn't fit into this category but > have something interesting to share. Forgive me for spelling errors since I > have some restrictins in typing and have taken more than 45 minutes to type > this. Your thoughts, answers, feedbacks, experiences and even debates > (possibly off the list) are welcomed. Looking forward to hearing interesting > things from men who have gone through the experience often described in > Indian society as "sagar". > > THe Questions follow: > > When did you get married? > What is your wife's name? > Is it an arranged marriage? > How did you handle the blindness/low vision or retinal issue and how was it > accepted/appreciated by the bride's family? > What was the attitude of the bride's family to you? Did they treat you well? > What was your wife's reaction when you explained to her about the possible > limitations you may have due to RP? (one thing that comes to mind is how > unlike we all are when it comes to a typical bridegroom who can take his > bride on a bike ride or communicate with her through eye contact) > What was her expectations of you when you tried explaining the limitations > to her? > What was your own emotional state when your disability keeps reminding you > what you can't do? Does your wife help you overcome the emotional issues of > your disability particularly vis-à-vis the marriage? > Do you believe in the reality of romance? Give any real life examplewhere > you actually felt it? > How do you handle differences with your wife? How do you counter when your > disability becomes (or portrayed as) an issue? > This may be a philosophical question... What is your > understanding/experience of happiness in married life? Do you think you are > complete after having married a woman and successfully leading your life? > > (The following sets of questions must be answered by your wife) > > What was the main reason in your choice to marry your husband: is it family > compulsion or as a result of sympathy you felt for him, or admirationof his > personality/accomplishments or a feeling of love? > Is your decision inspired by women in your family or friends circle who had > married disabled persons? > How do you explain your husband's disability to a stranger who perhaps > cannot understand the chemistry between you and him? > Do you support your husband when he expresses his limitations within the > relationship or talks about his inability to perform or do certain things > that somewhat differentiate him from other able-bodied men? > What do you tell yourself or your child/children, when you/they observe an > able bodied person performing things like driving a car or playing with his > child in the beach or going on a giant wheel, which, on account of his > disability your husband can't do? > Do you experience love in marriage? Is there any incident that made you feel > love or happiness in marriage? > Do you feel your understanding or experience of marriage could have been > different if you were married to an able-bodied person? > > > To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with > the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
