The problem with your friend seems to be that he wants to be assertive, but is finding it difficult since his parents play such a crucial role in his life. On one hand, he feelllike telling them that "listen, I may not have eyes, but I have spine, a strong wil and determination to achieve the goals I set for myself" and on the other hand he also wonders "my parents are good people. they fight, but they care for me. So how can I ask them to let me do what I want without offending them".
If this definition of his problem is correct, then he must get to the bottom of it right now. There's no point in saying I am independent without demonstrating it to someone. It is disappointing to see a lot of my VI friends finding it harder to independently move around, which is the most important message for the care givers that they are indeed capable of taking care of their lives. Personallly speaking, I am as thoroughly disorganised as any muddle-headed guy you wold meet, but when it comes to doing things on my own, I am stubbern and never compromise. As your friend to get away from home whenever things heat up. It is highly important for him to keep his cool and focus on what he is doing and the atmosphere at home is not helpful. I am sure he has friends who can ehlp him get off for a day or two when situation warrents it. Without beiing offensive to his parents, he must discuss the issue with them and demonstrate that he is not very happy with them being over protective and intrusive. Of course, this is easier said than done. I have had many a battle with my folks and the results are always satisfying, though it could at times be a little painful. Good luck. Subbu On 12/14/11, Mohit Shah Shah <mohit.shah...@gmail.com> wrote: > Hi all, > > I have a very good friend who is partially blind. > So, he is facing a very big problem. > I asked him to ask about his problem in this group, but he doesn't > want to insult himself or his family by doing that. > He is 20 years old. > He is currently pursuing his LLB degree in Pune. > > So, his maternal grandparents are very rich. > They have a very big house which is worth crores of rupees. > So, his dad says that the house should be divided equally between his > mother and her brother after the deaths of his maternal grandparents. > His dad says that his mother should get a part of the house so that > she will then have the resources to help him (my friend) if he fails > to do something substantial in his life. > His dad also works very hard to collect more and more resources just > to make sure that my friend doesn't have to face a lot of problems in > his future. > > So, my friend is mostly upset because his parents keep arguing about > this matter all the time. > He says that his dad also uses abusive language while arguing with his > mother. > His dad tries to prevent him (my friend) and his mother from meeting > his grandparents, because his dad feels that his grandparents don't > care about his future. > > His maternal grandparents say that they can't divide that particular > house because their son (my friend's maternal uncle) stays in that > house. > They are,however, willing to give another house to my mother which is > not as expensive as the house that my dad wants. > > My friend says that both his grandparents and his father are really nice > people. > He says that his father is worried about his future because of his > visual impairment. > And his father believes that his mother should also help in building a > better future for my friend. > My friend is a very capable guy. > He always comes first in exams. > So, I'm sure that he will not require anybody's assistance for > building his career. > > He is always upset because of the fights between his parents. > He feels that he is the main reason for all their fights. > He wants to show his father that he is not so worthless that he will > require the assistance of his maternal grandparents. > So, what can my friend do? > > My friend will be reading all your posts, so please do share your > suggestions and views. > > Regards, > Mohit > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > -- L. Subramani, Snr. Subeditor, Deccan Herald, Bangalore, M: 91-9886046612 "You see and ask why? I dream and ask why not?" Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/accessindia@accessindia.org.in/ To unsubscribe send a message to accessindia-requ...@accessindia.org.in with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in
