Hi avichal, Have you seen both husbend and wife wheele chair bound? really? if yes, it might have been possible due to existance of joint families in india. We can't straight away criticise any buddy's opinion. without getting to know the actual senario. lets find a wheele chair bound young couple who has mingled only because of their wish. As far as my knnowledge goes, all wheele chair bound men have a partner who is either an able bodied or has less disability. I might be wrong but, I haven't seen any wheel chair bound young woment having an equally disabled partner simpally, because it is not practically in a country like our's. this platform is ment for technology so it may be treated as spam but I personally salute Avinash for the strong opinions and the guts which he has. We can see many disabled people as a bread winnner for their family who keep on sitting idol in their home when they go back from their work. For many of them, life is a really suffocating place. I am saying this because of the experience which I got from being a regular member of access india. when one of our list members asked about sociallising with other people, the replies hwich he got touched me very deeply. I will summarise them in only two lines which are as folowes. many of them said that sighted people generallly don't like to go out with disabled people. so forget about getting physical. I know it may hert a lot of members but it is another harsh fact of our life and yes, for many of them unfortunately it is a reality. I am extremely sorry if I have herted anybuddy's imotions. but these are my personal feelings. regards
On 7/7/13, Avichal Bhatnagar <[email protected]> wrote: > This is vulgar. > Disabled in India are of much higher dignity. > They do not need any such crap. > In fact, I have seen many disabled couples (on wheelchair) living a > satisfied life. > This is my opinion, others may have a different one. > > On 7/7/13, avinash shahi <[email protected]> wrote: >> Should we also lobby for the same in India too? >> What do you say Access Indians. >> http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/05/world/europe/disabled-people-say-they-too-want-a-sex-life-and-seek-help-in-attaining-it.html?pagewanted=all >> Seeking Sexual Surrogates: In France, sexual surrogates for disabled >> people are not permitted, but some are pushing to make the practice >> legal. >> >> By MAÏA de la BAUME >> >> GRENOBLE, France — In her sexual fantasies, she is a fit and impetuous >> blonde who dominates her male partners. In real life, she is a virgin >> who relies on an electric wheelchair, her body touched only by home >> care aides and medical personnel. >> >> France Keyser for The New York Times >> >> Laetitia Rebord, receiving home care in Grenoble, is paralyzed. Her >> disability has scared away many potential sexual partners. >> >> >> “A disabled person is seen as a child,” said the woman in the >> wheelchair, Laetitia Rebord, 31. “So inevitably, child and sex don’t >> go together.” A translator and teacher, she has a genetic spinal >> muscular atrophy that has left her entirely paralyzed, except for her >> left thumb and her facial muscles. >> >> Ms. Rebord, who says she feels physical sensation acutely, has looked >> for sexual relationships through friends of friends and men on dating >> sites and even with male escorts. But her disability has scared many >> away, and she says she is now ready to pay for sex in Switzerland or >> Germany, where so-called sexual surrogates are legal. >> >> Stories like Ms. Rebord’s are far from unusual in France, where behind >> a facade of sexual freedom, disabled people struggle to have a sex >> life. But their desires are often disregarded, and while prostitution >> is legal here, soliciting potential clients and serving as an >> intermediary between prostitutes and clients are not. >> >> The issue of sexual surrogates came up in March, after the National >> Ethics Committee, which advises the government on health issues, >> issued a report criticizing the practice as the “unethical use of the >> human body for commercial purposes.” The report, commissioned in 2011, >> was approved by government officials, including Marie-Arlette >> Carlotti, a junior minister responsible for issues involving those >> with disabilities, who called sexual assistance for disabled people “a >> form of prostitution.” >> >> But encouraged in part by the publicity around “The Sessions,” a 2012 >> American movie about the sexual awakening of a disabled man by a >> sexual surrogate, some legislators and associations of disabled people >> are demanding the legalization of sexual surrogates. >> >> “Prostitution is a fake debate; the goals are different,” said Pascale >> Ribes, who in 2011 founded the Disabilities and Sexualities Group, an >> association defending sexual surrogates in France. >> >> “Sexual assistance is about allowing a disabled person who can’t >> access sexuality in a satisfying way to reconnect with the body,” Ms. >> Ribes said. >> >> Her association is lobbying for a change in the law to allow disabled >> people, their parents, their friends or directors of approved >> institutions to arrange meetings with sexual surrogates, who typically >> charge around $130 a session. She speaks of the “sexual distress” of >> many of France’s 1.8 million disabled people of working age, >> especially women. >> >> Some need sexual assistance to recover their sexual drive after an >> accident, Ms. Ribes said. Others are disabled couples who need help to >> “share intimate moments together.” Many wish to explore their >> sexuality to regain self-confidence, she said. Most sexual surrogates >> are women, Ms. Ribes said, adding that “it is harder for disabled >> women rather than men to ask for a sexual surrogate.” >> >> In France, the rarity of debate over the subject, the laws regulating >> prostitution and the refusal to legalize sexual surrogates have >> encouraged illegal practices. >> >> Aminata Gregory, 66, is Dutch. She retired as a supervisor in the >> construction industry, and she has been performing sexual assistance >> illegally in France for more than a year. She was trained as a sex >> therapist in Switzerland, and her work mostly involves massages and >> erotic games without kisses on the mouth or sex. >> >> “If someone is in a wheelchair, I start in the wheelchair,” Ms. >> Gregory said. “I start playing the game of getting undressed on the >> wheelchair. It becomes a little like a game.” >> >> Ms. Gregory’s clients find her through word of mouth. She has about 10 >> disabled clients in France and charges them through her company in the >> Netherlands. Her sessions cost about $130 and often take place in her >> clients’ houses. They begin with background checks and discussions >> about the clients’ needs. >> >> “During the session, I can be a friend, the lover, whoever they want,” >> Ms. Gregory said. “They can dream, they can speak, they can ask what >> they want, and I give them as much as possible.” >> >> Ms. Gregory finds France’s attitude on sexual assistance intolerant. >> “In Holland, we have integrity over our body,” she said. “In France, >> the law always decides for the individual, and not in his favor.” >> >> On a recent Saturday, Ms. Gregory went to Vedène, in southern France, >> to meet one of her clients, Daniel Doriguzzi, 49, a town hall >> employee. Mr. Doriguzzi has a rare genetic disease called Friedreich’s >> ataxia, a condition that is making him gradually lose physical >> coordination and the ability to speak fluently. >> >> “With a prostitute, there is sex and it’s over,” said Mr. Doriguzzi, >> speaking from the veranda of his modest ground-floor apartment. “It >> lasts for a limited time and nothing else.” >> >> With Ms. Gregory, he said, “we put ourselves in a bubble and become a >> normal couple. We talk to each other. We do whatever we want. We ask >> each other whatever we want. At the end of the session, we break the >> bubble.” >> >> Sexual surrogates are legal in most countries that allow prostitution, >> like Switzerland, Germany and Denmark. In Switzerland, several >> associations offer training for sexual surrogates. >> >> In 2008, Catherine Agthe Diserens, a Swiss-German educator, started a >> six-month training program with former prostitutes, nurses and >> physiotherapists. It included classes about disabilities, internships >> in institutions, collaborations with sex workers and practical courses >> exploring what Mrs. Agthe Diserens called “body skills.” >> >> “It is a totally atypical and extremely specialized training,” she >> said in an interview from her home near Geneva. “It requires a lot of >> preparation beforehand, and it is extremely intense.” She plans to set >> up a second training session in the fall and bring more prostitutes to >> train, she said. >> >> In France, offering such training would be unthinkable. For many >> French feminists, who associate undesired sex with violence, sexual >> assistance is humiliating both for the woman involved and for disabled >> people. >> >> “It’s like telling disabled people that since they will never have a >> sex or love life, we’ll prescribe them sexual assistance as a >> palliative,” said Anne-Cécile Mailfert, a member of Osez le Féminisme >> (Dare to be feminist). >> >> For Ms. Mailfert, sexual assistance can also create dangerous >> emotional dependency between those who practice it and their clients. >> The central question, she said, is less about sexuality than about >> teaching medical professionals to understand the sexual needs of >> disabled people and to help them meet other people. >> >> But many disabled people, including Ms. Rebord, believe that they have >> a right to sexual assistance, a psychological and physical means to >> overcome their inhibitions and empower them to find love. >> >> Marcel Nuss, a severely disabled father of two who breathes with an >> artificial respirator, is the author of “I Want to Make Love.” The >> book describes his personal fulfillment through love with his former >> wife and a sex life with escorts. His experiences, he said, persuaded >> him to support the use of sexual surrogates. >> >> “Someone like me can’t do anything on his own,” said Mr. Nuss, who >> runs a consulting firm specializing in helping disabled people. “Sex >> helps the disabled to reincarnate themselves and recover their human >> aspect.” >> >> Ms. Rebord shares Mr. Nuss’s optimism and openness about sex. She >> lives in a tidy, modern apartment, has a decent paycheck, a Facebook >> account and a taste for “Sons of Anarchy,” an American television >> series featuring a group of tattooed bikers. >> >> She believes that a conservative society like France moves slowly, as >> it did before finally legalizing abortion. In time, she said, France >> will legalize sexual surrogates, too, although she was not holding her >> breath. “I hope,” she said with a laugh, “I’ll still be alive to see >> it.” >> >> >> >> >> Stefania Rousselle contributed reporting from Vedène, France. >> >> >> -- >> Avinash Shahi >> MPhil Research Scholar >> Centre for the Study of Law and Governance >> Jawaharlal Nehru University >> New Delhi India >> >> Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility >> of >> mobile phones / Tabs on: >> http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Search for old postings at: >> http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ >> >> To unsubscribe send a message to >> [email protected] >> with the subject unsubscribe. >> >> To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, >> please >> visit the list home page at >> http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in >> >> >> Disclaimer: >> 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of >> the >> person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; >> >> 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the >> mails >> sent through this mailing list.. >> > > > -- > Avichal bhatnagar > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please > visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > -- Ajay Minocha Mob : +91-7827188455 E mail : [email protected] [email protected] Skype: ajayminocha2 Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
