Hi, It is nice to see such mature topics being taken up in the forum as well. However i would like to point out that in this article by "disabled" they mostly refer to someone who has physical difficulty in having sex. I don't think that is the case with visually impaired people, maybe psychological or social challenge, but not physical. So, i think the discussion should be keeping that context in mind.
Sagar +91 99 30 271732 intouchid: 2010-SAGAR007 <http://intch.me/2010-SAGAR007> "The evil of the world is made possible only by the sanction you give it." - John Galt in "Atlas Shrugged" On Mon, Jul 8, 2013 at 9:49 AM, Avichal Bhatnagar <[email protected]>wrote: > Hi all, > I think that using the word vulgar was not appropriate right, but we > can not allow something as surrogate sex workers in India. > The disabled in India have still not got full participation in the > society, and you talk about satisfying sexual desires? > Yes, in NAB I once saw a couple on wheelchair. > This is true, but if you don't believe it then its up to you. > > On 7/8/13, Shyam M. Sayanekar <[email protected]> wrote: > > Dear Avinash, I admire your daring to post an article on such a delicate > > issue. I totally disagree with Avichal, who thinks this to be something > > vulgar. Like all other needs, sex is a strong physical and psychological > > need of most of the human beings. But, in Indian environment, people, > > particularly disabled people hesitate to express their urge. but, > > suppressing it becomes still more painful and frustrating. In the > changing > > situation, marriages of the disabled are becoming further more > difficult. I > > > > know several blind men and women who in spite of being well-placed have > > remained unmarried due to some reason or the other. But this does not > mean > > that they do not have sexual urge. how should they satisfy it` In such a > > situation, if someone suggests some solution, we cannot totally brush it > > aside as something vulgar. More discussion is welcomed. > > Professor Shyam M. Sayanekar > > Telephone: 0251-2438457 > > Mobile: +91 9920410788 > > Skype ID- sayanekar > > ----- Original Message ----- > > From: "avinash shahi" <[email protected]> > > To: "accessindia" <[email protected]> > > Sent: Sunday, July 07, 2013 6:38 PM > > Subject: [AI] New York Times: Disabled seek help to satisfy sexual > desires > > > > > > Should we also lobby for the same in India too? > > What do you say Access Indians. > > > http://www.nytimes.com/2013/07/05/world/europe/disabled-people-say-they-too-want-a-sex-life-and-seek-help-in-attaining-it.html?pagewanted=all > > Seeking Sexual Surrogates: In France, sexual surrogates for disabled > > people are not permitted, but some are pushing to make the practice > > legal. > > > > By MAÏA de la BAUME > > > > GRENOBLE, France — In her sexual fantasies, she is a fit and impetuous > > blonde who dominates her male partners. In real life, she is a virgin > > who relies on an electric wheelchair, her body touched only by home > > care aides and medical personnel. > > > > France Keyser for The New York Times > > > > Laetitia Rebord, receiving home care in Grenoble, is paralyzed. Her > > disability has scared away many potential sexual partners. > > > > > > “A disabled person is seen as a child,” said the woman in the > > wheelchair, Laetitia Rebord, 31. “So inevitably, child and sex don’t > > go together.” A translator and teacher, she has a genetic spinal > > muscular atrophy that has left her entirely paralyzed, except for her > > left thumb and her facial muscles. > > > > Ms. Rebord, who says she feels physical sensation acutely, has looked > > for sexual relationships through friends of friends and men on dating > > sites and even with male escorts. But her disability has scared many > > away, and she says she is now ready to pay for sex in Switzerland or > > Germany, where so-called sexual surrogates are legal. > > > > Stories like Ms. Rebord’s are far from unusual in France, where behind > > a facade of sexual freedom, disabled people struggle to have a sex > > life. But their desires are often disregarded, and while prostitution > > is legal here, soliciting potential clients and serving as an > > intermediary between prostitutes and clients are not. > > > > The issue of sexual surrogates came up in March, after the National > > Ethics Committee, which advises the government on health issues, > > issued a report criticizing the practice as the “unethical use of the > > human body for commercial purposes.” The report, commissioned in 2011, > > was approved by government officials, including Marie-Arlette > > Carlotti, a junior minister responsible for issues involving those > > with disabilities, who called sexual assistance for disabled people “a > > form of prostitution.” > > > > But encouraged in part by the publicity around “The Sessions,” a 2012 > > American movie about the sexual awakening of a disabled man by a > > sexual surrogate, some legislators and associations of disabled people > > are demanding the legalization of sexual surrogates. > > > > “Prostitution is a fake debate; the goals are different,” said Pascale > > Ribes, who in 2011 founded the Disabilities and Sexualities Group, an > > association defending sexual surrogates in France. > > > > “Sexual assistance is about allowing a disabled person who can’t > > access sexuality in a satisfying way to reconnect with the body,” Ms. > > Ribes said. > > > > Her association is lobbying for a change in the law to allow disabled > > people, their parents, their friends or directors of approved > > institutions to arrange meetings with sexual surrogates, who typically > > charge around $130 a session. She speaks of the “sexual distress” of > > many of France’s 1.8 million disabled people of working age, > > especially women. > > > > Some need sexual assistance to recover their sexual drive after an > > accident, Ms. Ribes said. Others are disabled couples who need help to > > “share intimate moments together.” Many wish to explore their > > sexuality to regain self-confidence, she said. Most sexual surrogates > > are women, Ms. Ribes said, adding that “it is harder for disabled > > women rather than men to ask for a sexual surrogate.” > > > > In France, the rarity of debate over the subject, the laws regulating > > prostitution and the refusal to legalize sexual surrogates have > > encouraged illegal practices. > > > > Aminata Gregory, 66, is Dutch. She retired as a supervisor in the > > construction industry, and she has been performing sexual assistance > > illegally in France for more than a year. She was trained as a sex > > therapist in Switzerland, and her work mostly involves massages and > > erotic games without kisses on the mouth or sex. > > > > “If someone is in a wheelchair, I start in the wheelchair,” Ms. > > Gregory said. “I start playing the game of getting undressed on the > > wheelchair. It becomes a little like a game.” > > > > Ms. Gregory’s clients find her through word of mouth. She has about 10 > > disabled clients in France and charges them through her company in the > > Netherlands. Her sessions cost about $130 and often take place in her > > clients’ houses. They begin with background checks and discussions > > about the clients’ needs. > > > > “During the session, I can be a friend, the lover, whoever they want,” > > Ms. Gregory said. “They can dream, they can speak, they can ask what > > they want, and I give them as much as possible.” > > > > Ms. Gregory finds France’s attitude on sexual assistance intolerant. > > “In Holland, we have integrity over our body,” she said. “In France, > > the law always decides for the individual, and not in his favor.” > > > > On a recent Saturday, Ms. Gregory went to Vedène, in southern France, > > to meet one of her clients, Daniel Doriguzzi, 49, a town hall > > employee. Mr. Doriguzzi has a rare genetic disease called Friedreich’s > > ataxia, a condition that is making him gradually lose physical > > coordination and the ability to speak fluently. > > > > “With a prostitute, there is sex and it’s over,” said Mr. Doriguzzi, > > speaking from the veranda of his modest ground-floor apartment. “It > > lasts for a limited time and nothing else.” > > > > With Ms. Gregory, he said, “we put ourselves in a bubble and become a > > normal couple. We talk to each other. We do whatever we want. We ask > > each other whatever we want. At the end of the session, we break the > > bubble.” > > > > Sexual surrogates are legal in most countries that allow prostitution, > > like Switzerland, Germany and Denmark. In Switzerland, several > > associations offer training for sexual surrogates. > > > > In 2008, Catherine Agthe Diserens, a Swiss-German educator, started a > > six-month training program with former prostitutes, nurses and > > physiotherapists. It included classes about disabilities, internships > > in institutions, collaborations with sex workers and practical courses > > exploring what Mrs. Agthe Diserens called “body skills.” > > > > “It is a totally atypical and extremely specialized training,” she > > said in an interview from her home near Geneva. “It requires a lot of > > preparation beforehand, and it is extremely intense.” She plans to set > > up a second training session in the fall and bring more prostitutes to > > train, she said. > > > > In France, offering such training would be unthinkable. For many > > French feminists, who associate undesired sex with violence, sexual > > assistance is humiliating both for the woman involved and for disabled > > people. > > > > “It’s like telling disabled people that since they will never have a > > sex or love life, we’ll prescribe them sexual assistance as a > > palliative,” said Anne-Cécile Mailfert, a member of Osez le Féminisme > > (Dare to be feminist). > > > > For Ms. Mailfert, sexual assistance can also create dangerous > > emotional dependency between those who practice it and their clients. > > The central question, she said, is less about sexuality than about > > teaching medical professionals to understand the sexual needs of > > disabled people and to help them meet other people. > > > > But many disabled people, including Ms. Rebord, believe that they have > > a right to sexual assistance, a psychological and physical means to > > overcome their inhibitions and empower them to find love. > > > > Marcel Nuss, a severely disabled father of two who breathes with an > > artificial respirator, is the author of “I Want to Make Love.” The > > book describes his personal fulfillment through love with his former > > wife and a sex life with escorts. His experiences, he said, persuaded > > him to support the use of sexual surrogates. > > > > “Someone like me can’t do anything on his own,” said Mr. Nuss, who > > runs a consulting firm specializing in helping disabled people. “Sex > > helps the disabled to reincarnate themselves and recover their human > > aspect.” > > > > Ms. Rebord shares Mr. Nuss’s optimism and openness about sex. She > > lives in a tidy, modern apartment, has a decent paycheck, a Facebook > > account and a taste for “Sons of Anarchy,” an American television > > series featuring a group of tattooed bikers. > > > > She believes that a conservative society like France moves slowly, as > > it did before finally legalizing abortion. In time, she said, France > > will legalize sexual surrogates, too, although she was not holding her > > breath. “I hope,” she said with a laugh, “I’ll still be alive to see > > it.” > > > > > > > > > > Stefania Rousselle contributed reporting from Vedène, France. > > > > > > -- > > Avinash Shahi > > MPhil Research Scholar > > Centre for the Study of Law and Governance > > Jawaharlal Nehru University > > New Delhi India > > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility > of > > mobile phones / Tabs on: > > > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > > > > Search for old postings at: > > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > > > To unsubscribe send a message to > > [email protected] > > with the subject unsubscribe. > > > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, > please > > > > visit the list home page at > > > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > > > > Disclaimer: > > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of > the > > > > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the > mails > > sent through this mailing list.. > > > > > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility > of > > mobile phones / Tabs on: > > > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > > > > Search for old postings at: > > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > > > To unsubscribe send a message to > > [email protected] > > with the subject unsubscribe. > > > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, > please > > visit the list home page at > > > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > > > > Disclaimer: > > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of > the > > person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the > mails > > sent through this mailing list.. > > > > > -- > Avichal bhatnagar > > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of > mobile phones / Tabs on: > > http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Search for old postings at: > http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ > > To unsubscribe send a message to > [email protected] > with the subject unsubscribe. > > To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, > please visit the list home page at > http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in > > > Disclaimer: > 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of > the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; > > 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails > sent through this mailing list.. > Register at the dedicated AccessIndia list for discussing accessibility of mobile phones / Tabs on: http://mail.accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/mobile.accessindia_accessindia.org.in Search for old postings at: http://www.mail-archive.com/[email protected]/ To unsubscribe send a message to [email protected] with the subject unsubscribe. To change your subscription to digest mode or make any other changes, please visit the list home page at http://accessindia.org.in/mailman/listinfo/accessindia_accessindia.org.in Disclaimer: 1. Contents of the mails, factual, or otherwise, reflect the thinking of the person sending the mail and AI in no way relates itself to its veracity; 2. AI cannot be held liable for any commission/omission based on the mails sent through this mailing list..
