These are so not the experiences here When I attend to my breathing I feel relaxed
When I relax there is a sense that my arms and legs disappear When I think of I am I have a sense of looking for something I can place awareness anywhere I choose and have been playing with this sense since I was maybe 5 years old? I am not my awareness - I can place that anywhere - on you even? So I am? As a thought process something is thinking it is thinking And it feels that it thinks Again not really me Sometimes there is a sense of a something that can define all of the above But that sense has a sense that it is something and has to be something in order to define all of the above And it realises something has to be there to define itself Then the revelation it realises that the thing it thinks is doing the defining is the defining doing... And it disappears Then there is an eerie sense of WHAT THE FUCK Like that And the thing that needs to be defined panics and finds itself again It wants to own SOMETHING THAT IS NOTHING so it can win the enlightenment game It's a very messed up situation here :-) And none of you are coming close to describing what I haven't got LOL Maybe Kali or Godzen know what is being said here? Or Marcus? I am here typing this What I try to describe is momentary because it is unfamiliar yet very familiar all at once Can't say any more Except it makes no difference which teacher I listen to - it happens when I give up the right to have it happen to me or to own it Yet it seems more me than this panic illusion It's not love either, or bliss - love is a concept and bliss is a sensation There is no sensation Perhaps like standing in a football stadium in halogen light Buy there is no light I give up trying to explain - ego wants you all to be impressed ;-) Cheers Mark Sent from an iPhone On 27 Aug 2010, at 00:43, godszen <[email protected]> wrote: > markogreg wrote: >> After the I am sense dissolution you'll be still seeing, hearing, >> thinking...the big difference is that the feeling of beingness will be much >> much lighter or even not existent. >> The more the I am sense is strong the more your presence is 'heavy'. >> After watching it, the I am sense (the feeling of presence) loses weight. >> That diminishes the amount of suffering. >> The more your beingness is 'light' the less suffering you experience because >> the sense of I am and the sense of the beingness of suffering are the same >> sense. > > could what you describe as "heavy" > > also be described as "tension"?
