*A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and told the
sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her fourth wedding.

"Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk. "Exactly what type and color
dress are you looking for?"

The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."

The sales clerk hesitated a bit then said, "Please don't take this the wrong
way but gowns of that nature are considered more appropriate for brides who
are being married the first time - for those who are a bit more innocent, if
you know what I mean! Perhaps ivory or sky blue would be nice?''

"Well!" replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's directness.  "I
can assure you that a white gown would be quite appropriate. Believe it or
not, despite all my marriages, I remain as innocent as a first-time bride.

You see my first husband was so excited about our wedding he died as we were
checking into our hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the limo on our
way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled immediately and never
spoke to each other again."

''What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.

"That one was a Democrat," said the woman.  "Every night for four years he
just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it was going to be but
nothing ever happened."*

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