*PUNS OF THE DAY 01-06-11*

*It was different when we were kids. In second grade, a teacher came in and
gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts
and crafts to make ashtrays for Mother's Day. (Paul Clay)*

Even though there are many differences between Christian and Muslim
cultures, there exist some similarities. I note that in Arab countries like
Saudi Arabia, Iran And Iraq, that if a woman commits adultery, she is
stoned. It's the same in Los Angeles, only they usually get stoned
beforehand instead of after.

*A buxom actress fainted right in the middle of her act on the stage. Four
men carried her from the stage, two abreast.*

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that
could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his
supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the
way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he
gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with
transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
*
*
*Three things cause severe memory loss: a blow to the head, old age, and
testifying before a congressional hearing.*
*
*
A couple preparing for a religious conversion meets with the orthodox rabbi
for their final session. The rabbi asks if they have any final questions.
The man asks, "Is it true that men and women don't dance together?" "Yes,"
says the rabbi, "For modesty reasons, men and women dance separately." "So I
can't dance with my own wife?" "No." "Well, okay," says the man, "but what
about sex?" "Fine," says the rabbi. "A mitzvah within the marriage!" "What
about different positions?" the man asks. "No problem," says the rabbi.
"Woman on top?" the man asks. "Why not?" replies the rabbi. "How about
doggie-style?" "Of course!" "Well, what about standing up?" "No!" says the
rabbi. "Why not?" asks the man. "Could lead to dancing!"

*Angry customer: "Tell me, just what good is this airline schedule, anyway?"
Agent: "It's simple, really. If it weren't for them, we'd have no way of
knowing how late the planes are."*

As in many homes on New Year's Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict
of which was more important - the football games on television, or the
dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and
even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to
the family room to turn on the game. Several minutes later, my wife came
downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled,
kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the
end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.
"See?" she said, continuing to smile, "You didn't miss a thing."

*If you spread out all the sand in North Africa, it would cover the Sahara
Desert.*
*
*




-- 
*".... I am the KING to my own UNIVERSE that Rule my MIND, BODY and SOUL !!!
...." *
**
*- Lo Fen Koei -*

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