UMM: Universal Minsky Machine: God comes to Marvin: "Marvin, run this program 
for me. I think it's a pretty neat idea for an AGI." Marvin:  "Nah, it'll never 
work. Have you read Chapter 6 of my book? I just need some funding..."

UGM: Universal Goertzel Machine: Only runs programs-in-progress, that have to 
be written/finished as they're run - "And they will, they really will. Next 
year for sure. Well, maybe the year after...            "

UJM; Universal Jewish Machine (two Jews, three opinions) : Always runs two 
alternative programs in addition. One is cheaper, the other goes in the 
opposite direction.

UOM: Universal Olea Machine: "What do you mean, '1. Start with...' ? Couldn't 
you start somewhere else? How unimaginative." Questions every line of the 
program. And being behaviourist, only runs programs on sufferance. 

UDM: Universal Dreamer Machine: dreams what it would be like to have 
successfully completed the program. Never actually runs it.

(Any more suggestions?).

Seriously, a UTM is not a blueprint for the complications of a real mind. These 
variations are more like it.

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